The above is a promotional video that the Cleveland Indians made as part of their “What If?” campaign, which spews forth a series of rhetorical questions asking what would happen if some of the finer moments in franchise history hadn’t happened. It’s the type of hacky advertising nonsense that looks as though it was authored and refined by at least forty-five people and a dozen focus groups, and reeks of an agency taking advantage of a clueless client.

In fact, it likely wouldn’t even be noteworthy at all if not for Cleveland comedian Mike Polk’s parody, which almost perfectly describes how the fans of 24 teams in baseball feel at any given time.

Oh, and hey, look, the Indians won this afternoon. So, at least they have that.

A “hey, your river is on fire” warning to the fine folks at Daily Pitch for the link to the video.