There is a good line in a movie I saw once, wherein an Oscar-winning actor declares “if you’re good at something, never do it for free.” While the character stating this economic truth is a homicidal maniac, the point stands.

The Seattle Mariners are not homicidal maniacs, nor do they share the Joker’s keen understanding of supply and demand. The Mariners celebrated the recent perfect game of Felix Hernandez last night, turning their usual “King’s Court” collection of diehards loose on the entire stadium. The SUPREME COURT saw the Mariners give away 34000 t-shirts emblazoned with the now-famous image of their franchise cornerstone’s iconic celebration.

The Mariners created a joyous atmosphere at Safeco Field, somehow convincing nearly 40000 fans to trek down to the park on Tuesday night to watch the Mariners host the Cleveland Indians. Impressive, right? Not exactly. They Mariners blew it on multiple levels.

Sure, they celebrated their best homegrown player since Ken Griffey Junior for his incredible feat and created an experience very few will ever forget. But look at the shirts they gave away. Notice anything missing?

Not a single corporate logo anywhere! Which means the M’s paid for 34000 t-shirts (a total they landed on because of Felix’s jersey number) OUT OF THEIR OWN POCKET! What’s worse? The Mariners lowered ticket prices for Tuesday night’s game? WHAT THE WHAT?

From the Seattle PI earlier this week:

Seats in the lower bowl will start from $30, while view-level seats can be purchased for as low as $10, according to a team press release

Totally. Blowing it. The Mariners also gave away the gigantic K cards, which feature a photo of Felix from the perfect game, to all in attendance. STOP DRILLING, SEATTLE. YOU HIT OIL.

I can only say the the corporate beancounters at Nintendo must be pretty peeved off with all the wild expenditures for this once-in-a-franchise-history event. Just because the franchise talisman threw a perfect game in front of the home fans while his team improbably streaked into the playoff conversation (nominally) doesn’t mean they need to throw caution to the wind and set money on fire, does it? They couldn’t even get Larry Bernandez to show up? Lame, Seattle. Lame.