Generally speaking, when we refer to an animal developing a taste for human blood, we’re not actually describing a predator that’s addicted to our vital fluids. Instead, we’re probably alluding to a species that has figured out that we, as bipedal humanoids, make for easy prey, or at least easier than whatever was the subject of the hunt prior to experiencing the taste of human flesh.

Similarly, the first time I took a sip of alcohol, my enjoyment of it had nothing to do with the taste being especially gratifying. I liked it because of the experience. The moving through a rite of passage, the breaking of a previously forbidden barrier was more intoxicating than a mere sip of wine could ever be. It was about the association more than the alcohol itself. Fortunately, I didn’t learn to associate alcohol with 42,000 people cheering for my dad after his professional baseball team clinched first place in their division.

Even though the Washington Nationals lost 2-0 on Monday night to the Philadelphia Phillies, the team still clinched the National League East Division after the second-place Atlanta Braves fell to the Pittsburgh Pirates by a 2-1 score. And so, the team celebrated, in the clubhouse, and much more notably, on the field with an overflowing of beer and champagne, the likes of which haven’t been experienced since Orson Welles last urinated.

Here’s Michael Morse doing his part to ensure that half of Washington drives home illegally tonight:

The Cincinnati Reds also lost on Monday night, 4-2 to the St. Louis Cardinals, meaning that they remain tied with the Nationals as the best team in baseball, and also more importantly, the National League. Washington is 5-2 this season against the Reds, so if the season were to end with the two teams tied, the Nationals would play the winner of the Wild Card game, while Cincinnati would travel to San Francisco to play the Giants (assuming the Giants don’t win all of their remaining games with the Reds and Washington losing all of theirs) in the NLDS.

Special thanks for late night GIFfing from Scott Lewis.