Wait a minute. You weren't in the movie. What's going on here?

Well, here we are. The end of another season. It’s a time to look back, look forward, and keep on quoting.

This week we have horrible teams, horrible managers and beyond horrible Moneyball references.

We’ve done a lot of work this year. It doesn’t look like it on the field because the results aren’t there yet, but I think it’s been fun. We’ve made a lot of changes. I think that’s going to pay off as we move forward.

As the season comes to an end we get the chance to look back on what we saw and what we will miss. I, for one, will miss Jim Crane and the 2012 Houston Astros. Never were there such a team that could take away the pain of the Jays’ season quite like them. Houston, I hardly knew ye. You will be missed. Oh, I’m getting all emotional already.

[They] probably won’t show anything. But just in case they might it’s ridiculous not to look at them.

So, some politicians in Minnesota want Lou Gehrig’s medical records because they want to see if Gehrig died of ALS (which, of course, has become linked to the player) or of some sort of  head trauma. I don’t totally get the point of this. Are they trying to take the name of the disease away from him? Is this out of spite? I do not get it. This also has to be one of the dumbest reasons to look into something. I’m not trying to make fun, I just legitimately don’t understand.

White Sox move on after AL Central run falls short.

Yeah, okay, this is not technically (or actually for that matter) a quote but it’s definitely my favourite headline of the week. It’s just so silly and vague. What else are the Sox expected to do? File a complaint? I’m probably nitpicking but it made me laugh. Embrace the ridiculous, people. It’s fun.

There’s situation during the year I didn’t think it was all for one or one for all, whatever it is. I don’t really remember specifically…It was just a feeling.

I have a theory as to when Bobby Valentine didn’t feel supported by the Red Sox coaches and organization. Maybe it was the every time we heard a story about how Bobby Valentine wasn’t supported by the Red Sox coaches and organization. Like last week. And the week before. And the first week of the season. Yeah, this was never going to end well. For the Red Sox, I mean. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

One game at a time.

This was Joe Girardi‘s defence after being criticized for how many innings he let CC Sabathia pitch this week. Yeah. Is this what it’s like to be a Yankee fan? When your biggest worry is whether or not your ace starting pitcher pitched too many innings before your team goes to the playoffs? I want these problems. I want my team’s manager to have to justify pitching someone too long. It sounds so much more fun than justifying why your ace starting pitcher is suddenly shitty. Let’s trade places, Yankee fans. But not teams. It’s nothing personal, it’s just, you know, you’re Yankee fans and I just kind of hate you.

Of course, it isn’t that simple, it isn’t a narrative as clean as the book “Moneyball”, or a plot as Hollywood as the movie.

Dear, Ken Rosenthal,

No.

I am drawing a line in the fucking sand. I am officially calling a moratorium on all Moneyball puns, references, allusions, and comparisons. We get it. The Oakland A’s were once not so good and then they became good. Billy Beane is the general manager. There was a movie made about it. There, that’s the joke. Find another angle, every sports writer.

This is incredible. The excitement. The joy. The fans. Smiles on everyone’s faces, the excitement that’s going on. Everyone here just witnessed history. Hopefully we can try to continue that journey.

This is just your weekly reminder, this time care of Gio Gonzalez, that both the Washington Nationals and Baltimore Orioles are both in the playoffs. This is the reality in which we all now live. I don’t even have a joke for this. I just…I don’t even know.

Just taking each day as it comes. Leaving it in management’s hands. I did everything I could do this year, and if they want to go in another direction I understand that, too. But I’ve had a positive attitude and I was very professional about everything this year.

It’s just one of those things where it’s a business, even though it’s a game.

And, of course, Nyjer Morgan, I shall miss you most of all. You may not be a Brewer next year but you will always be Tony Plush. And, yeah, still pretty weird. Even though this was a totally reasonable statement. I’m just really going to miss Nyjer Morgan.