If we look into the results of a recent player poll conducted by ESPN The Magazine, we learn that the typical baseball player is a homophobic Republican who believes that abortion is a sin worse than gambling but not as bad as smoking marijuana.

That’s probably an unfair exaggeration, but it does reflect the results of the recently released informal poll that samples a very small selection of Major League Baseball players (that surprisingly included more than just Chipper Jones) with the following questions:

Who do you want to win the election?

  • 81.8% for Governor Mitt Romney;
  • 13.6% undecided; and
  • 4.6% of President Barack Obama.

Should the U.S. legalize gay marriage?

  • 55% no; and
  • 45% yes.

Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

  • 65% pro-life; and
  • 35% pro-choice.

Should the U.S. legalize marijuana?

  • 65% no; and
  • 35% yes.

Should the U.S. legalize sports gambling?

  • 59.1% yes; and
  • 40.9% no.

The results of the questionnaire are hilarious in the way that we laugh when we’re incredibly nervous. I’m just going to remain thankful that there were no questions about firearms.