There's something incredibly unsettling about this picture and I think I know what it is.

It’s the post-season, you guys. Has this been a fun week or what? God damn, I love baseball.

Anyway, in this first week of the playoffs we have Justin Verlander being amazing, Dusty Baker being sad, and Nolan Ryan being a scumbag.

I could tell from the first batter, from Coco (Crisp), that it was going to be an effective pitch for me. It’s just one of those things as a pitcher that you go out and see what you’ve got and what’s going to work for you that night.

I was hoping my changeup was going to be good with as many lefties as they had. If it was on, I knew it would make it tough on them.

There’s something comforting about knowing that Justin Verlander doesn’t know if certain pitches will work for him before he goes out on the mound. It lets us know that he is, in fact, a human being and not some sort of advanced sentient pitching machine sent back from the future to ensure that all those who attempt to stand against the Detroit Tigers are cut down, pitch by pitch, until there is nothing left but tears and the smell of stale champagne emanating from the Tigers’ locker room.

His timing on quitting smokeless tobacco couldn’t have been worse. You would’ve liked to have thought that if he was going to do that that he would’ve done it in the offseason, or waited until this offseason to do it. So the drastic effect that it had on him and the year that he was having up to that point in time when he did quit, you’d have liked him to have taken a different approach to that.

Nolan Ryan‘s right. How dare this former drug addict find an inappropriate time to quit another narcotic? He’s got to look out for the team’s best interests here, not his own. This is just another example of an athlete being completely selfish and putting his own interests before others. What kind of role model is this for our children? Do we really want them to be watching a guy who kicked a serious drug and alcohol addiction and came back to play professional baseball only to quit smokeless tobacco at a time like this? There’s playoffs to think about. Come on, now. This is disgusting. For shame.

I’m not sure he’s 20.

I know what J.J. Hardy means when he says this about Manny Machado but the depraved, fucked up part of my brain really wants this to turn into a Miguel Tejada-like scandal. Wow. The 2012 Jays season has turned me into a horrible person.

You get tired of the disappointments, but then you get over it. It hurts big-time.

Dusty Baker – clearly not over it.

Hey, that’s just part of it. Fans expect a lot out of you. When you don’t get it done, they’re not going to cheer.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Curtis Granderson. That’s a pretty logical and well-thought out statement right there. Don’t you know this is supposed to go in a Jon Paul Morosi piece about how you and A-Rod are struggling? We expect inflammatory dialogue and hyperbole so great even Kim Jong-Il would have been like “hey, man…let’s not get carried away here.” Get mad, say things you can’t take back but probably should, blame the decline of Western Civilization on A-Rod’s swing or something. You’ve got to be more aware of your surroundings, man.

If we had ‘Stras, we’d be up 2-0.

I know what you mean, Unnamed Washington Nationals Player. It’s almost as if shutting down your star pitching in a pennant race was a stupid thing to do. I don’t think any of us saw this sentiment coming. Nope, not from a mile away at all.

At no time – and I want to stress this -was this something that was preordained to happen. This was a struggle. … Baseball just didn’t want to come to D.C.

D.C. Councilman Jack Evans was getting all nostalgic for the time it took to get baseball back to Washington this week. I guess the only thing that could motivate baseball back to D.C. was finding a city that averaged less than 10,000 attendees per game and with a fan base that would all of a sudden seem upset and confused, if not downright offended, at the notion that the team would want to leave their city. For they cared for oh, so many years before. Oh, Montreal. you truly work miracles (and, yes, being owned by a total shithead helps make miracles happen as well).

I understand the disappointment. But we can’t do that. As Atlanta Braves and people from Georgia, it doesn’t look good, and I’m a little disappointed in our fans from that point. You get people injured out there

Know what else doesn’t look good, Fred Gonzalez? Having your fans react to every run scored with an anachronistic, offensive, and racist chant. But you guys wouldn’t know anything about that now, would you? You have the classiest fans of which we were all surprised reacted negatively to a horrible call.

Comments (12)

  1. I’d hate to be accused of defending Nolan Fucking Ryan, but it’s obvious that Jake has never attempted to quit tobacco and knows nothing of the toll it takes on every aspect of your life. So yes, picking a more appropriate time to conquer his addiction would have been prudent, both in baseball terms and in the likelihood of success, even if it gets in the way of ‘Getting Quoted’ and ‘Goldsbie Gold.’

    • If he’d been back on the coke, would you be advocating he keep it up for a couple months until baseball was over?

    • Considering it takes such a huge toll on one’s life (and, you’re correct, I haven’t attempted to quit tobacco), wouldn’t it be prudent to put the well being of the human over the affect it may have on the ball club? My issue has nothing to do with baseball, it has to do with Ryan seeming to care more about the playoff chances of his baseball team than the well being of an actual, living person.

      • Immediately after making his statement, Ryan chucked a fastball at the reporter’s head.

      • Jake, the huge toll I was referencing has to do with the attempt to quit, not the health risks associated with the (filthy) habit. Another month (or two) of using smokeless tobacco is highly unlikely to ruin his life, but attempting to quit such a pernicious habit as your team’s playoff chances hang in the balance is just stupid and reckless wrt both goals. (And no, IMW, I wouldn’t, but backsliding into coke addiction with a $200 million contract awaiting in the off-season would be the very definition of reckless.)

        • Fair enough but even if there is a slim chance of an extra month or two of tobacco ruining his life, the basis of the argument is still asking someone to continue doing something that is potentially harmful to them for the sake of a game. And, yes, I grant you that Hamilton and Hamilton alone began his addiction as well as the fact that he is, after all, a professional baseball player who is paid a lot of money so there should be some responsibility towards the team. I just can’t justify the idea of putting the continuous use of something harmful over playoff chances. Baseball is, after all, just a game. Bottom line, the guy is a former addict – if he feels he needs to quit any narcotic at any given time for the betterment of his health and well being, let him. I grant you this wasn’t the best worded response ever.

  2. Seriously…whats so wrong with some fans having some fun with a chant and a tomahawk motion? Political correctness is nothing more than vice grips around the neck. No one can have any fun anymore.

    • Trying being marginalized for a few generations then tell me if your definition of “fun” stays the same.

      • So what’s the issue here…the team name or the chop? I don’t understand how it’s mocking or racist. A Brave being a North American Indian warrior sounds like a pretty cool mascot to me…

  3. Braves, fighting irish, vikings, offensive names to those who chose to be offended.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *