We tend not to use a lot of foul language on this website because, well, it’s offensive to some, and for the most part, the writers at Getting Blanked are strong enough in their craft to be able to express whatever it is they’re attempting to express without resorting to language that might be perceived as disagreeable by some. There’s no editorial mandate to avoid obscenities, and from time to time, I believe that using a little bit of blue language can be effective in getting a point across.

Having written this, I would now like to kindly invite ESPN’s Darren Rovell to go and fuck himself in any orifice to which he sees fit.

My apologies to anyone who takes offense with the above statement. I promise such language won’t be a recurring tactic on this blog. I merely find it rather outrageous, and I’m certain that this was the attention-craving point of his tweet, that Mr. Rovell would express such ignorance during what was probably the most tense moments of the Major League Baseball season. You see, Mr. Rovell’s tweet was posted in the middle of extra innings in New York, with the Orioles and Yankees deadlocked at one run apiece, with Baltimore’s entire miraculous season hanging in the balance.

And to anyone who is unfamiliar with Mr. Rovell, and might believe in his sarcastic capabilities, I’d point out that this was not his first comment on Thursday evening pointing toward the lack of entertainment from one of the best nights of baseball in recent memory.

Allow me to be the first to congratulate Mr. Rovell’s exquisite taste in favoring the manicured polemics of the aristocracy over our petty plebeian interests.

I’m not one to proselytize the greatness of baseball. If you don’t like it, that’s fine with me. I don’t feel the need to convince you that my sport is better than yours. We’re all individuals with different personal value systems. Baseball offers me an enjoyable escape through its pace and tension. For other people, football and basketball might be more appealing. I don’t feel the same way about those sports, just as I’m certain they don’t feel the same way about my favorite sport.

Attempting to discredit a sport in the fashion that Mr. Rovell did is condescending and insulting, not only to the athletes on the field, putting forth their best efforts for the entertainment of millions of people, but also those millions of people being entertained. To Mr. Rovell’s own degradation, his tweet, rather in jest or not, came across like that scene in Amadeus where Emperor Joseph II yawns during a Mozart performance, or where it’s suggested that the genius has “too many notes” in his work.


Now, I fully realize that part of Mr. Rovell’s shtick is to poke and procure a response, negative or otherwise. I, also, understand that I’m falling for his shtick. However, sometimes, the petulant child’s tantrum that screams for attention in the worst manner possible requires a response. This is one of those moments to me.

Comments (12)

  1. Holy hell is Darren Rovell the worst.

  2. From an Uproxx post about Rovell during the Playboy/Super Bowl nonsense:
    “Darren Rovell is a monster. A big douchey monster.”

    Yup.

  3. “You should clone yourself.”
    “Why?”
    “So you can FUCK yourself.”

    Good post, Parkes. And I agree on the swearing bit – done for the sake of it, it doesn’t work. Used properly, to emphasize a point, and it’s great.

  4. Anyone who found that Orioles v. Yankees game boring just doesn’t actually enjoy baseball. Rovell doesn’t deserve any further attention when it comes to this sport in any way, shape, or form.

  5. “Attempting to discredit a sport in the fashion that Mr. Rovell did is condescending and insulting, not only to the athletes on the field, putting forth their best efforts for the entertainment of millions of people, but also those millions of people being entertained”

    You’ve called them the OriLOLes for 2-3 seasons. That’s both condescending and insulting, not only to the athletes on the field, putting forth their best efforts for the entertainment of millions of people, but also their fanbase.

  6. Oh piss off brainojack.

    Such a wankity-wank-wanker-wanky comment.

  7. Using someone’s words against them … base.

  8. Yes, there’s nothing more exciting than using 8 relief pitchers and being bad.

  9. “For other people, football and basketball might be more appealing.”

    I think you’re missing a sport, but I can’t put my finger on it…

    Oh yeah! Lacrosse!

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