"Everybody listen to me. I am an attention whore and need you to listen to me."

It’s a special “The Yankees lost” edition of Getting Quoted today. Because it’s awesome.

This week we have Max Scherzer being kind of amazing, Joe Buck being everywhere, and Donald Trump being…Donald Trump.

Yeah, we did it. It’s an unbelievable feeling. … Four more wins, guys. Four more wins.

I don’t really have a lot to say about Miguel Cabrera‘s reaction to the Tigers elminating the Yankees. I just wanted to start things off by pointing out that the Yankees were eliminated. Because it makes me happy. Go Not Yankees.

It wasn’t just one guy struggling. It was a collective group, and it was a very unique situation.

Sticking with losing Yankees, this A-Rod quote kind of confuses me. What, exactly, was unique about this situation? A team that won a lot of games in the regular season didn’t win the World Series. Doesn’t that happen kind of all the time? Or is A-Rod just talking about himself here? The Yankees are reaching. It will never stop being awesome.

I got a strong family. When that happened, you learn to enjoy the best things in life. You live to be happy. For me, baseball puts a smile on my face, baseball puts a smile on my family’s faces, and to be able to go out there and have a moment like this and see them after the game, there’s nothing better to be able to share experiences with your family.

Max Scherzer‘s brother died in June, this was what he had to say following the Tigers’ win. Nothing resembling inspiration or strength to be seen here, folks. What, this? No, it’s nothing. It’s just a little dusty in here, that’s all.

I would terminate his contract, personally. I think George (Steinbrenner) would’ve done that. I would terminate his contract on the basis that when he signed, he didn’t say that he took drugs. Since he signed his contract, they found out that he took drugs. … He actually admitted that he took drugs. Now he’s not taking drugs anymore, and without the drugs, he’s a less than average player.

Donald Trump‘s just dolling out baseball advice. Hey, everybody, let’s listen to Donald Trump. He knows what’s what. This is a guy who totally has his shit together and is in no way a crazy person. And he’s definitely never, ever made unsubstantiated claims about a famous person before. Everybody, quick, Trump is speaking! Let’s listen to Trump. I’m shocked this asshole didn’t find a way to stick a plug for The Apprentice into this. “A-Rod, your fired.” Is that show even still on? Never mind, I don’t care.

Plaintiffs have attempted repeatedly, and failed, to persuade defendants to adopt an environmentally responsible route that will not cause a prohibited `take’ of the endangered ocelot, which has been spotted on the ranch and which has extensive habitat on the ranch,

So, Josh Beckett is suing to make sure that a pipeline isn’t built through some land that Beckett believes to be occupied by Ocelots. This is all well and good and I totally back Beckett in this (and I know he really cares and wants me on his side) but can we just focus on the fact that Josh Beckett may or may not have Ocelots. I know they’re not technically his but they’re on his ranch and doesn’t this kind of make him about twenty times more awesome? Have all the beer and chicken wings you want, man. You have ocelots. That’s like the fourth coolest pet you can own. I want an ocelot.

Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith is planning to auction his 13 Gold Gloves and a pair of World Series rings he received from the St. Louis Cardinals in retirement.

This is kind of sad though, admittedly, I don’t know the reasoning behind it. It might not be sad at all. However, I do know that if Ozzie hadn’t spent all his money at Springfield’s Mystery Spot, this probably wouldn’t be necessary.

It was abundantly clear this year that we should hold the line on ticket prices. Over the past few years, we have fallen short of our goals to play postseason baseball. Through it all, fans have shown their deep loyalty and support, for which we are all grateful.

I do not understand you, Larry Lucchino. You say that a terrible season is not justification to raise ticket prices? What do you mean, Boston? This is not a concept I am familiar with as I live in Toronto. I am intrigued by this line of thinking and would like to hear more. Perhaps you could come and give a seminar, Larry. I can think of a few people in this city who would do well to hear of this idea.

I’ve been looking at the clock ever since kickoff, trying to judge when the game would end. It turned out to be a lopsided game and they ran out the clock at the end.

America. The only place where Joe Buck calling two games, in two different sports, in a row is seen as something to be celebrated. Hope you like overwrought cliches, everybody. I’m willing to bet that this is why the ratings for the playoffs have been down on TBS. Yes, I am fully aware that Joe Buck is on Fox.