With nothing, at all, going on in the baseball world right now, thank heavens for Melky Cabrera. No, Melky hasn’t signed or committed any crimes against humanity this week but he is certainly here to help the beleaguered bloggers and news editors of the world.

Give your outrage muscles and stretch and get ready to dine out on today’s revelation that the deposed NL batting champ earns a full playoff share despite missing the final 47 games of the season for PED infractions.

While the official totals are not yet known, Cabrera stands to net a windfall of close to $400 000 despite not playing in a single playoff or stretch run game. The rule book is on the side of Melky, as Al Saracevic notes “an obscure union rule mandates a full share if a player’s team plays 10 games after the suspended player is eligible to be reinstated” in the above-linked SF Chronicle piece. The Giants post-season engagement stretched 11 games after Melky was eligible to return to the lineup so he’s in with a full share.

(Ed. Note: Saracevic’s characterization of the bonus structure may not be entirely accurate. Getting Blanked contributor and recovering law-talking lady Wendy Thurm points to the Joint Drug Policy which dictates the nature of the World Series share allotment. Please to read on.)

Inevitably this will set many teeth gnashing as the cries of “cheater” grow loudly. Many will wonder aloud about the children, and whether or not we are thinking on this behalf. In one way, it is to my great relief that the Giants opted not to bring Melky into the playoff mix, as if wronged Tigers fans need more to gripe about.

If history’s greatest monster receiving $400K for nothing wasn’t news enough, the voting for the Major League Baseball Players Alumni Association opened today, with Melky Cabrera serving as the Giants nominee for the “Hustle and Heart” award. The noms were first announced in July, which excuses his inclusion if we willingly acknowledged that THE INTEGRITY OF THE MLBPAA awards are not beyond reproach and any revisions to the scared nomination parchment represents nothing less than treason.

Or they could have changed it after he was suspended. One of those things.

As it is wont to do, the snarky side of the internet instantly jumped onto Melky’s presence on the ballot with a snide Vote Melky movement.

We here at Getting Blanked support an open and democratic internet so we must insist you go forth and vote for Melky Cabrera – unless you want this entire enterprise to slip behind a pay wall, which it will if anyone but Cabrera wins the Hustle and Heart award. Tough but fair, I think we can all agree.

So we thank you, Melky, for providing glorious content in these dark days of baseball blogging. Never has your presence meant more to the virtual pages of the internet. (Until some team takes a one year flier on him, signing a contract at 11:59 on Christmas Eve in a futile attempt to bury the all-but-assured week-long tsk-tsking.)