What do you get for the man who has everything? More to the point, what do you get for a man who has already given so, so much? In addition to being a stellar baseball player (his underrated glove netted him the Marlins Wilson Defensive Player of the Year award), an invaluable asset for the Miami Marlins to squander, Stanton is also the consummate entertainer.

So today, on Giancarlo Stanton’s 23rd birthday, we offer only our sincere thanks and appreciation to the finest masher of baseballs and creator of jaw-dropping highlights. May your career continue on its very historic path, with the only bump in the road being you running your car over Jeffrey Loria on the way out of town the moment you reach free agency in 2016.

Hit the jump for some of Stanton’s greatest hits from this season. His prowess is nature’s gift to you, friends.

I mean, honestly.

Stanton Versus Coors Field

A closer look at the “welp” heard round the word.

Stanton Derby prep is NSFW