My boss is a Seattle Mariners fans. It isn’t really his fault, he grew up in Vancouver and therefore suffers from the same malady afflicting all people from “London Ontario but with mountains and an ocean you cannot enjoy because all the rain lives there” – his view of the universe is skewed, like looking through a kaleidoscope under water.

When I first exclaimed “Jason Bay to the Mariners” aloud, his reaction was very simple and very clear: “OHHH NOOOOOO.” Then he swore and made the Chone Figgins reference you see in the headline. The Mariners are reportedly close to taking a one year flyer on the former Mets outfielder and native of Some Fresh Aired Suburb, British Columbia (or Far-flung Smelting Town, same diff) – a free agent after the Mets did to Bay what the Mariners did to Figgins: paid him to go the hell away.

Jason Bay might be good again one day. If he is healthy and discovers a cure for lost bat speed and the Mariners actually move the fences in to 285 feet in left field, Jason Bay just might find the form that netted him contract so rich he earned more than $21 Million in BUYOUTS ALONE.

Dave Cameron checked in on this potential move for U.S.S. Mariner, noting that the Mariners have nothing really to lose though keeping a limited player like Bay on a roster already featuring limited players like Jesus Montero starts to present a roster problem.

There are no bad one year deals but there is also little hope for a “found money” situation when Jason Bay looks as d-u-n done as Jason Bay looks. Maybe a trip to his milk and honey homeland will correct the various ailments contributing to his extremely rapid decline? Probably not. Whatever.