The Boston Red Sox are having “serious discussions” with free agent pitcher Ryan Dempster, Ken Rosenthal reports. Just how serious said discussions are remains a mystery. Surely, they’re not regarding a long-term contract for a pitcher who will turn 36 next season. That’s just silly.

I got serious this morning as to wondering what the “serious discussions” between Ryan Dempster and Red Sox could be about. Here’s what I came up with:

  • The impact of North Korea launching long-range rockets on South Korea’s election
  • The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act
  • Same-sex marriage
  • Syrian President Bashar al-Assad and his government’s effort versus rebel forces
  • The giant asteroid on course to fly by earth
  • Slut-shaming
  • The alleged Justin Bieber murder plot
  • The cost of F-35 stealth fighters
  • Ravi Shankar’s globe influence
  • The role of religion in politics
  • Pussy Riot
Rosenthal reports that the Red Sox and Dempster are close to a deal. It’s possible that their serious discussions were related to a contract.