The Boston Red Sox are having “serious discussions” with free agent pitcher Ryan Dempster, Ken Rosenthal reports. Just how serious said discussions are remains a mystery. Surely, they’re not regarding a long-term contract for a pitcher who will turn 36 next season. That’s just silly.

I got serious this morning as to wondering what the “serious discussions” between Ryan Dempster and Red Sox could be about. Here’s what I came up with:

  • The impact of North Korea launching long-range rockets on South Korea’s election
  • The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act
  • Same-sex marriage
  • Syrian President Bashar al-Assad and his government’s effort versus rebel forces
  • The giant asteroid on course to fly by earth
  • Slut-shaming
  • The alleged Justin Bieber murder plot
  • The cost of F-35 stealth fighters
  • Ravi Shankar’s globe influence
  • The role of religion in politics
  • Pussy Riot
Rosenthal reports that the Red Sox and Dempster are close to a deal. It’s possible that their serious discussions were related to a contract.

Comments (3)

  1. “Serious Discussions,” as opposed to the five times Ben Cherington sent Ryan Dempster excerpts from the “Fart Joke of the Day” mailing list.

  2. Dempster is a bum anyways, when he came to the A.L at the years end he got hammered every outing. I just cant wait to see his e.r.a in that lil bandbox ox Fenway.

  3. On the one hand, Dempster signing with Boston will unleash the wave of maple boners getting pissed off the Jays didn’t overpay for him which washes this entire off-season out the window, which is going to be really fucking annoying.

    On the other hand, it’s a 36 year-old Ryan Dempster pitching in Fenway Park and getting overpaid to do so. Get it done Boston.

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