funny gifs

That message? Go fuck yourself, baseball fans.

I hope all the angry, old white men are happy. The months-long tantrum culminates a full scale bombardment of sanctimony, the most frustrating Baseball Hall of Fame announcement in recent history. No winners, only losers. Even those who want to see reputed drug abusers punished and kept from the hall can only see this year’s election as a Pyrrhic victory.

No cause is advanced. A usually great weekend at the Hall will likely end up more like a funeral.

Most people reading this now the “in-house” opinion on who belongs in the Hall of Fame and who doesn’t. The BBWAA collective — the active writers and columnists and long-retired scribblers and everyone in between — do not share a common opinion. And the result? Nobody gets in.

This will get worse, not better.

The votes!

Where to begin? Biggio leads the way with 68% of the vote, falling just short this year before he is inevitably elected next season. Morris gets close but only has one year of remaining eligibility, despite being a fringe candidate at best.

Barry Bonds and Rogers Clemens actually receive different vote totals, which makes very little sense. No sense, in fact. How are they anything but a package deal? Next year will be very telling for these two unique cases. Will the writers feel as though their message got through or will they go the way of Mark McGwire, slowly drifting down the ballot?

Time Raines edges over 50%, a strong sign for those who want to see the Rock inducted. Piazza and Bagwell are comfortably in the upper middle class, as is Lee Smith (inexplicably.) Dale Murphy fails to gain the required number of votes in his final year on the ballot. Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro ain’t never gettin’ in.

Lest we forget

These are the men no longer eligible for Hall of Fame election. View the full ballots of those willing to publish their view at bbwaa.com/13-HOF-ballots.

Kenny Lofton, off the ballot. Which is a shame. Bernie Williams is off too, which is also weird but for different reasons. Aaron Sele received a Hall of Fame vote because…

The Jack Morris write-in campaign begins anew! Watch for writers to crow about his greatness and trump him as a generational talent, even though they awarded him a grand total of four first-place Cy Young votes over his entire career. Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, and Frank Thomas are among the names muddying the waters for next year’s ballot. If anyone still cares 12 months from now…