Colorado Rockies v Atlanta Braves

Oh, Todd Helton, no. The Rockies elder statesman was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence in Thornton, Colorado according to a release issued by the club themselves. Thornton is a suburb just north of Denver, near Helton’s offseason home in Brighton.

Weirdest part of this arrest isn’t that a baseball player was arrested for driving after drinking too much, it’s that he didn’t even wait for Spring Training to start before doing so. C’mon, Todd; wait until you get to Arizona before you carry on like this. You’re white, it’s totally cool there!

Something something conflating outrage from this incident with that facing Ryan Braun grumble grumble double standard apples orange and SCENE.