Arizona Diamondbacks v Milwaukee Brewers

There is never a good time for news like this: Brewers Opening Day starter Yovani Gallardo was arrested early this morning for driving under the influence of alcohol. Gallardo was (very slowly) driving on the Interstate near the Milwaukee BREWERS (baseball team named for beer brewers) home stadium MILLER Park (naming rights owned by beer company) at 2:20 am, according to an ESPN Wisconsin report. Gallardo blew a .22, nearly three times the legal limit.

As this is Gallardo’s first offense, he was assessed a $300 fine for driving under the influence with an extra three bills tacked on for his extreme level of intoxication, plus another fine for leaving his lane.

This sucks. There is no excuse, Yovani. Call a cab. End of story. The worst.