There are two ways to write the “words” part of this video-based post. One angle would be to marvel at the ability of a player like Vernon Wells, to take a “these guys are good!” approach.

After all, Vernon Wells, he of more than 13700 career innings as an outfielder and zero career innings playing as an infielder, took up the hot corner for the Yankees last night after a flurry of Binderism left the Yankees one infielder short. Vernon Wells stepped in to serve as the Yankees third baseman for the ninth inning, where he helped protect a one-run lead and secure the W.

Awesome, right? No.

There are more than a few examples of the Power of the Pinstripes, where players previously deemed finished as viable big leaguers join the Yankees and mysteriously lurch back to life, chipping in with key contributions well beyond their personal “best before” date. Vernon Wells hit .222/.258/.409 over the two previous seasons combined, losing his job in the Angels outfield. He was all but done, a bloated contract and broken-down player at the end of his career.

One trade to the Yankees and suddenly Vernon Wells is hitting .287/.341/.504 with seven home runs, playing the freaking infield on a whim, making plays and winning games for the Yanks. Vernon hit one of those seven homers yesterday, in addition to scoring the winning run on an infield single.

This is scary. Terrifying even. What kind of mad science do they practice there in the Bronx? What sort of rejuvenation techniques to they employ? Witchcraft? Human Sacrifice? Pleas to darker power? I don’t want to think about it.

Here’s a video of Vernon Wells playing third base, fielding a Carlos Gonzalez grounder smoothly in the ninth inning of a one-run game. Mind the blood rain, enjoy the dead rising up and roaming the Earth. Lost souls and all that.

Comments (10)

  1. The best is that he’s playing 3rd base with his outfielder glove. Oh Vernon you cray.

  2. As much as I am dumbfounded by Vernon’s success this year, this is pretty awesome/hilarious.

  3. Subtract the black magic, and forget that this ultimately leads to something positive for the Yankees (which, as we know, makes babies cry and is likely the source of all that is bad with this world), and it’s pretty awesome.

    I don’t know why I find players out of position so fascinating, but there’s nothing cooler than seeing Ivan Rodriguez or Jorge Posada play second base. I pray that I may see a lefty play third base or catcher in my lifetime.

  4. I can only assume that they have a strong pact with the Devil, because I’ve tried making a similar one on behalf of the Jays this season and it hasn’t worked. I can only assume that’s because the Yankees and Red Sox contribute more to Satan’s political campaigns.

  5. Ichiro!, Travis Hafner, Lyle Overbay, Raul Ibanez, Andruw Jones… part of the Yankees’ physical before a trade completion is removal of all hair beneath the upper lip, and also souls. Once depleted of life force their bodies are reanimated by the remnant magick of George Steinbrenner and placed on the ballfield. I bet they don’t even have pulses. Has anyone seen Wells blink or smile yet this year?

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