MLB: Spring Training-Detroit Tigers at Miami Marlins

Giancarlo Stanton is one of the most fearsome sluggers in baseball. He hurts baseballs in a profound way. Just this week he did this to a baseball in Port St. Lucie, Spring Training home of the New York Mets.

For further reference, here is a photo of just how far beyond the left field fence that black screen really is. It’s really, really far from home plate. Jeff Sullivan of Fangraphs dug in and tried to estimate the actual distance. His final result? Really far.

Because it is just Spring Training, this shot is only good for tenth on the top Stanton bomb list.

9. Destruction of public property

The poor taxpayers of Miami, stuck with this glorious ode to modern art on their tax bill. And here, the only good player in their mix, destroys and expensive piece of it with an epic blast off a senior citizen, as if to slap the people of Miami-Dade County in the face a second time.

8. Western Metal Supply gets a pelting

Extra points for slicing through the thick Marine Layer, made extra thick by the Padres constant excuses for never scoring any runs. The big man can get it way out at Petco, a normal hitter can sneak it over the wall ever so often. (Extra bonus points for those slick grey unis)

7. Ringing in the new year

This was Giancarlo Stanton’s first home run of 2013. It also plunked the scoreboard, this time the electronics were up the task.

6. Lohse learns lessons

0-2 bomb into the upper deck at Busch Stadium. Kyle Lohse, don’t do that again. Whatever it was, stop.

You didn’t listen, did you Kyle?

5. Product placement

The check is in the mail, Mr. Stanton. Thanks for your tireless work as a brand ambassador for our brewery.

4. Number one

The first home run of Stanton’s career. A grand slam, to boot. The first of many, many, many, home runs. Many.

3. Journey to the center of Planet Hoagie

This ball lands so far from home plate that Philly cab drivers refuse to take you there unless you pay half the fare upfront.

2. Hometown Discount

Back in his LA stomping grounds, Stanton reminds Clayton Kershaw that a) he’s human and b) Stanton might not be.

1. “I can’t tell you how far that is other than to say that’s stupid far”

As the ancient Greeks famously said: “lol”. I can say with confidence that I have watched this home run highlight more than any other in my three years as a baseball writer person.

The incredulous Rockies booth makes it my favorite home run call ever. Everything about it is perfect.