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There are bat flips and then there are Bat Flips. This is both. This is everything. This is all that a bat flip video needs to be. It is story. A saga of human achievement. The heights of euphoria and the depths of despair.
It is also encoded to prevent embedding. So we shall embark together on a journey. A journey to the very core of our own humanity. We will learn of both the agency of a man as well as his place in his realm.
To his eternal credit, Jeremy Guthrie is having a very unusual season. Unusual for Jeremy Guthrie in that he’s pitched very well and Jeremy Guthrie is the human embodiment of serviceable. He has a very low ERA and a sparkling 5-1 won/loss record. Before last night, it was a 5-0 record.
Last night, Jeremy Guthrie posted one of the weirdest pitching lines you’ll ever see. It was the anti-FIP start for the ages. And that was tip of Guthrie’s weirdness iceberg.
They call it a language “barrier” for a reason. It seems very easy for words and thoughts to be twisted, misconstrued or even misrepresented when passed through the many channels and filters required to turn one set of words into another.
Last night in Toronto, Melky Cabrera faced his former team for the first time since he was suspended 50 games for failing a drug test. Melky’s departure from San Francisco was an odd one, as he simply vanished from the clubhouse, failing to wish his teammates good luck or bid them fair well. Nothing, Melky was gone, told by someone that he was to leave immediately after his suspension was announced.
The Giants did quite well without Melky’s contributions, winning the 2012 World Series with Melky watching from home. He was not added to their post-season roster when he became available after the Division series, the Giants preferring to stick with the postseason group they had.
Last night was Melky’s chance to receive his World Series ring from the Giants, a thank you for his contributions during the first 110 games of the season. After some discussion between PR camps, it was decided — at Melky’s behest — to perform the ceremony quietly and away from the public eye.
Joe Blanton is not off to a good start to his Los Angeles Angels career. Most of that stems directly from the fact that, well, Joe Blanton isn’t an especially good pitcher. He’s serviceable, or was, before the start of 2013. In his eight starts for the Halos, Blanton has been very bad.
He was especially bad last night. He was quintessentially 2013 Joe Blanton bad. He didn’t give up a home run, which tends to be a Joe Blanton calling card. He did, however, surrender 12 hits in 4.2 innings, allowing seven runs. He didn’t walk anyone, because he’s Joe Blanton. He did, however, strikeout seven hitters. Which is weird. But still: bad.
As a struggling pitcher, Joe Blanton is prone to expressions of frustration on the hill. The more you struggle, the more frustrated he grows. Over and over, the cycle repeats.
What remains is a series of images, lovingly curated below, of Joe Blanton looking exasperated. Enjoy, non-Angels fans.