Dustin Parkes

Recent Posts

In Ottawa on Wednesday, the Canadian Radio-television Telecommunications Commission approved an application from Rogers Communications to broadcast the MLB Network in Canada. The network will be included as a cable option in the near future as part of the nation’s non-Canadian programming.

You might think that such news would bring great rejoicing to the halls of a Canadian baseball blog’s offices. Flutes of sparkling maple syrup for everyone! However, the upcoming availability of the MLB Network is much like the Final Destination movie franchise – a great premise best suited to remaining theoretical. The grape you can’t reach is always the sweetest, and in our imaginations, a television network devoted to baseball is great. In practice, the MLB Network is largely unwatchable.

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When the unfamiliar think of Texas, they’re prone to envisioning a barren land, one of desert and cactus, where hard lives beget hardened people. They imagine the repressive heat of a cruel sun and ever-present dust that combine to make teeth gritty, throats dry and sweat dirty. They think of the hardships of futile toiling, where the only possible reward is oil, a black and grimy substance that’s more reminiscent of the devil’s bath water than a natural resource.

They think of mainly nonsense.

The misrepresentations of Texas in popular culture are plentiful, as it would be for any unique region for which diversity, both in terms of population and landscape, creates complications that require more than a quick glimpse and labeling to understand. In truth, Texas isn’t the less than convivial hell hole described in the opening paragraph. Texas isn’t a desert wasteland. Prairies, grasslands, swamps, hills and forests surround the cities that aren’t located along the coastline. Two-thirds of the state’s population, which is comprised of multiple ethnicities, reside near large metropolitan areas, and less than 10% of the land area of the entire state is considered to be desert.

Fans of Major League Baseball’s Toronto Blue Jays should be able to relate to ignorance breeding malformed understanding. After all, the Blue Jays find themselves in a unique situation of their own, as the only team competing at baseball’s highest level to be located outside the United States of America. While this surely presents challenges when it comes to talent acquisition, club supporters become most acutely aware of the misrepresentation this characteristic creates through outside media consistently classifying the franchise as being that of a small-market. This is the case, despite being the franchise being owned by the richest ownership group in baseball and playing in MLB’s fourth-most populated city.

It’s therefore fitting on multiple levels that the often-mislabeled Blue Jays would hire a misunderstood Texan to guide a roster largely comprised of players misjudged by their previous teams. I’d liken John Gibbons to King Moonracer, but in all likelihood, the current incarnation of Toronto’s Major League Baseball team would be outcasts even on The Island Of Misfit Toys.

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Ten Stray Thoughts On A Friday

TGIF!

For many, Friday represents the end of a long work week that’s filled with heavy doses of drudging, sludging and other words that don’t actually exist but rhyme with “udging” and connote menial and tedious tasks that are ultimately distasteful. It’s my hope that at the end of such misery, at that moment in time that only occurs on a Friday afternoon when it’s too far away from closing time to leave work early, but too late in the day to start anything new, you’ll join us here to read some random observations about baseball and contribute your own thoughts on the subjects that get brought up.

So, without further ado, I present this week’s Ten Stray Thoughts On A Friday:

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Without managers making IDIOT calls and baseball broadcasters saying the STUPIDEST THING EVER, baseball fans have been forced to direct their vitriol at the annual parade of ridiculousness that is MLB Award voting. It’s an easy target. And this year, the bulls eye got a whole lot bigger with the Baseball Writers Association of America (BBWAA) deciding to reveal each the ballots of each voter on its website after individual award winners are announced.

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In order to fully grasp the implications of the twelve player trade between the Miami Marlins and Toronto Blue Jays – Josh Johnson, Mark Buehrle, Jose Reyes, Emilio Bonifacio, and John Buck in exchange for Henderson Alvarez, Jeff Mathis, Yunel Escobar, Adeiny Hechavarria, Jake Marisnick, Justin Nicolino, and Anthony Desclafani – one must understand a thing or two about baseball transactions.

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“Drugs. Drugs. Drugs. Which are good? Which are bad?”

The melody and lyrics of the vintage public service announcement still resonate, but not because of a nostalgic lesson learned. It’s ironic detachment that fuels our memory. We’re taught from an early age that some drugs are good, and some drugs are bad. However, as we get older, we learn that nothing is truly as black and white as we’re initially led to believe.

This is a lesson gone unlearned by professional sports that still prefer to exist in a sort of Neverland, remaining aloft in ideals that ultimately prove childish. The issue of drugs in sports, as in all walks of life, requires nuance, but the major professional sports leagues insist on handling it with definition that doesn’t actually exist.

No greater example of this can be found than in the recent voter approval for possession of marijuana in Colorado and Washington. Despite the evidence of social progress that the vote represents, imagining that the results would change the rules for professional sports in those states is, pardon the expression, a pipe dream.

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Turn And Face The Stranger

Dear Readers:

Of all the things to be proud of as editor of Getting Blanked – the balance of insight and irreverence, the seriousness, the sense of humor, the fantastic contributors, our weekly features, that Bruce Bochy GIF where he just shrugs – I take the greatest mesure of pride in the fact that the blog has never published an annoying post informing its readership of something to do with the website itself. Of course, that changes today.

I’m writing this post to inform you that I’ll no longer be the editor of Getting Blanked. I’m not going too far away. In fact, I’ll still be making contributions to these pages and taking my seat in the podcast studio to talk about baseball whenever the opportunity arises. However, I’ll be extending my focus to things beyond baseball for the next little while, writing in a format that’s not quite blogging, not quite journalism, not quite reporting and hopefully, not quite like any sportswriting before.

I leave all of you in the very capable hands of Drew Fairservice, who will take over the reins as the editorial chariot driver of Getting Blanked. The new Ben Hur of baseball blogging will be assisted by Scott Lewis, whose main duty will be to relay breaking news stories and provide facetious analysis faster than any flippant writer in the business. As I hinted at before, I’ll also be chiming in with the regular Ten Stray Thoughts On A Friday feature, as well as a smattering of longer-form pieces.

On the whole, I think these changes make the blog a better place to visit, and I hope that this will be your experience moving forward.

I hate that I’m reduced to the cliché of expressing gratitude to everyone who has taken the time to read my work at Getting Blanked over the last two plus years. However, this is the equivalent of your support and ongoing interest in my opinions leaving me speechless. Thank you very much.

People, when they feel honored, often suggest that it’s a humbling experience. I’ve never understood this. If anything, your reading of my work has emboldened me. It makes me want to be a better writer. And by sparking that drive, I think it’s led to the opportunities with which I’ve been presented. In this sense, I owe a massive debt to you. I hope to repay it with the showcasing of the very best of my abilities moving forward.

Sincerely,

Dustin