Jake Goldsbie

Recent Posts

"What else do I have to do to let them know that me and my stupid hair are not coming back?

Oh, hey, another week of quotes. These baseball people just don’t know how to shut up, do they? Luckily, neither do I.

This week we have the Astros in denial, the McCarthys being awesome and a law I didn’t know existed.

We haven’t heard from Roger, so that’s still up in the air

I feel like Jim Crane and the Astros are kind of in denial over the whole Roger Clemens thing. He’s made it pretty clear he’s not pitching in the majors hasn’t he? I guess when you’re the Astros any press is good press. Except for all the coverage of them being terrible. That’s probably not so good.

Read the rest of this entry »

"...And I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time."

With pennant races getting more and more intense, it seems like baseball people are getting stingier with their quotes. It’s like they’re focusing on winning or something. What’s up with that?

That aside, this week we have terrifying things happening to Brandon McCarthy, sad things happening to Lance Berkman and hilarious things happening to Bobby Valentine because obviously.

What an embarrassing thing to say. If I were there right now, I’d punch you right in the mouth. Ha, ha. How’s that sound? Sound like I checked out? What an embarrassing thing. Why would somebody even, that’s stuff that a comic strip person would write. If someone’s here, watching me go out at 2 o’clock in the afternoon, working with the young players, watching me put in the right relief pitchers to get a win, putting on a hit-and-run when it was necessary, talking to the guys after the game in the food room – how could someone in real life say that?

How could someone in real life say that, Bobby? How could they? By the way, the headline to this article, on the front page of FOX Sports, was “Bobby V. Defends Threat To Punch Host,” which is  just, really, it’s just the best thing. Headline aside, this is awesome. It’s just a fantastic quote (as disastrous as the Sox season has been, Valentine has been on point for quotes all season). It’s the “ha, ha” that really sells it for me. Just great stuff.

Read the rest of this entry »

"No hustle makes me a sad panda"

And we’re back. Did you miss me? I missed you, you adorable little anonymous Internet users. Anyway, let’s not waste any time and get right to the quotes.

Today we have Stephen Strasburg getting some rough news, Charlie Manuel getting frustrated and Minnesota getting some recognition.

Everybody knew our pitching was depleted and we were bound for a letdown. I’m not saying we were going to beat Japan. I think they were the best team here at everything by far, pitching, hitting. But I think last night is how we want to be remembered.

Hey, everybody. Take your class cues from everybody involved with the Little League World Series, there are quotes all over this thing. It is the great uniter. It will save us all. It’s not the tournament we need, it’s the tournament we deserve. Uh…other platitudes.

Read the rest of this entry »

This week, Phil Mickelson has a baseball team, Dusty Baker has cliches, and Barry Bonds has hubris.

“Yeah, of course. Of course we can do better than that,” Valentine said. “I don’t think that’s so optimistic. I think if we stay healthy, and right now we have some concerns in the bullpen, if we can stabilize, there is big runs ahead.”

So, Bobby Valentine thinks the Red Sox are still a playoff team. I mean, maybe, I doubt it. What really worries me is his rationale sounds exactly the same as the way I talk about the Blue Jays’ season. This does not bode well for either of our teams’ futures.

Read the rest of this entry »

"Someone get me out of here"

This week we have Casey McGehee needing to trim his sideburns, Paul Maholm needing to play in Atlanta and Ryan Dempster needing to not play in Chicago.

I don’t know if it’s because I grew up watching the Braves and wanting to play here. I’ve obviously felt comfortable in the stadium and I’ve pitched well. I want to make sure that continues.

Read the rest of this entry »

"Oh, all the money? Yeah, that's mine now."

This week we have Don Mattingly being obvious, Cole Hamels being very, very rich and Mike Trout continuing to be the absolute best.

They’re going way overboard. They’re getting rid of guys and not even saving that much money. And I don’t see much value in the players they’re getting back.

You’ve got to play every night. You can’t go out there and say it doesn’t matter if you lose 120 games. Yes, it does.

No idea who said this, it’s one of those “rival executive” quotes. That being said, it’s pretty bang on. When the long-term plan is acquiring the Franciscos (not getting into analysis of that trade), perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the game plan. Just sayin’.

Read the rest of this entry »


Some quotes to brighten your days, sirs and madams? Don’t mind if I do.

This week we have Reggie Jackson being banished, Jay Buhner vomiting and the Red Sox being bold. Also, Lance!

I think it’s all behind us; that’s the most important thing. (Jackson) has made a number of calls to try to rectify everything. I’m OK with it. I’m glad he’s here.

Does it worry anyone else that the Yankees banish former players from the team if they say something negative? Am I the only one that finds that insane? I mean, I’d get it if a former Blue Jay said something negative about Brett Lawrie because that’s tantamount to treason but this just seems excessive.

Read the rest of this entry »