Jake Goldsbie

Recent Posts

I'll be back next week. Don't tell anyone.

Was it really the All-Star Game already? Time flies when you’re gathering quotes.

This week we have Chipper Jones’ low expectations, Robinson Cano’s low opinions and Scott Kazmir’s low career prospects.

I signed with the Kansas City A’s in 1962 and to think that the last time I’m going to put on a uniform is going to be in Kansas City is just an unbelievable coincidence.

Starting the bets now. Tony La Russa will invalidate this quote when he returns to baseball in ____ years. My pick is two.

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Another week, another set of quotes.

This week we have David Ortiz being hilarious, Mike Trout being indestructible and Ozzie Guillen being amazing.

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Another week, another Getting Quoted. Seems kind of rote, doesn’t it? It doesn’t? Good. For as long as there are quote puns, there shall be quotes.

This week we have Dusty Baker ruining our fun, Matt Kemp not ruining his career and Joey Votto ruining our dreams.

He said for a lack of a better word that he was tired and needed a break, I will have him do some special-assignment work that I have been kicking around. And this will give him a chance to catch his breath.

There are many jobs on this planet that require people to step away and recharge their batteries due to the stress – brain surgeon, firefighter, President of the United States, pitching coach for the Colorado Rockies. Dan O’Dowd understands this.

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This week we have Frank Francisco being ballsy, Johnny Damon apparently being a boss and Joe Maddon being the best.

Hopefully this week I can gush about a manager that isn’t an alleged homphobe. (Thanks for ruining my optimism, Parkes.)

If you don’t like it, pitch better

Jeff Francis’ reaction to the Rockies shuffling their rotation is pretty awesome. And if anyone knows about rotation shuffling, it’s Jeff Francis.

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I love this guy.

This week we have Dusty Baker being mean, Tommy Lasorda being healthy and, of course, Nyjer Morgan being weird.

People asked me if they told me to lose weight, I knew that before anybody told me, just when I put my pants on. I’d be really mad if I died thin, I’d miss all that great spaghetti. I don’t want to lose too much weight or my nose would look too big.

Tommy Lasorda is all kinds of great and it’s really nice to see that he’s recovering well from his heart attack. Baseball would be worse off without him. This has been your monthly reminder that I am not just a cynical scumbag and am, on the rare occasion, even capable of feelings.

[Ed. Note: Lasorda is an alleged homophobe. Sorry to ruin this for you, Jake. -DP]

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Getting Quoted: Quote On

This week we have Brett Lawrie cementing his connection to Toronto, Bill Maher being the owner of a baseball team and Getting Quoted’s first Tebow sighting.

I haven’t met Tim. I hope to in the very near future, he’s probably the most recognizable figure in America right now. We’re from the same area in Jacksonville. I know he comes from a good family.

At first I thought Chipper Jones saying that Tim Tebow is the most recognizable figure in America was ridiculous and it made me laugh. Then I realized that it’s probably true and it made me sad.

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Math!

This week we’ve got Dusty Baker’s favorite superhero, Jamie Moyer being old and useless and Mike Trout being young and very, very good.

I don’t know if there was a better hitter during Mays. It’s been fun to watch him hit, fun to watch his overall play. … He reminds me of Tony Gwynn. He takes what they give him, he doesn’t try to do too much up there. He has a calmness, there’s no panic in him even with two strikes. He’s just a great hitter.

Whenever a record is set, a new hyperbole is born. Bruce Bochy is well aware of this fact.

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