Jake Goldsbie

Recent Posts

Cheer up, Lance. We still love you.

This week we have an overabundance of Berkman, an overabundance of Blue Jays, Nyjer Morgan not being weird and…David Segui? Really? Okay.

I’d rather have him step it up this year. I’ve had conversations with him, it’s really hard for him, because he’s not playing that well, to be that guy he was last year. Unfortunately, sometimes you can’t be yourself. Last year, things were going so well, he could be himself. This year, I’d like him to be a little bit more of that guy. But he’s really concentrating, trying to figure out how to get his swing back and start playing like he did last year.

Seriously, Ron Roenicke. If you can’t get Nyjer Morgan to be loud and insane then you’re probably pretty terrible at your job. Get it together.

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I hate you.

Quote puns are back with a 19th century German philosopher vengeance, y’all!

This week we’ve got stupid things said by Ken Rosenthal, stupider things said by Broson Arroyo, and more stupider things said by me.

I am thrilled to see we have the most educated players, but they are only as smart as their win/loss record.

In one sentence, Diamondbacks president Derrick Hall showed why a column on the lack of college grads in baseball is a waste of time. Very, very impressive work, sir.

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Yesterday, Brian McNamee took the stand to testify against Roger Clemens. I know this because it was reported by literally every news outlet on the series of tubes invented by Al Gore known as the Internet.

It was news, it happened, it should be reported on. I’m not going to try and downplay the magnitude of this story. Actually, no, scratch that. I’m absolutely going to try and downplay the magnitude of this story.

Yeah, Roger Clemens probably cheated on baseball (what does innocent until proven guilty mean again?) but how deep into the legal system do we need to go with this? I mean, maybe I’m looking at it with Canadian eyes and if this was a case of Sidney Crosby lying to the House of Representatives things would look different (they wouldn’t, but whatever, I’m making a point).

My problem isn’t that Clemens is on trial; my problem is that the media has looked to this as a story to end all stories. I say a story to end all stories because there’s a new one every week, it’s just the nature of the 24-hour news cycle. And that’s all well and good (kind of) but the problem starts when we look at just what that never-ending news cycle decides to focus on.

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This week we’ve got the relevance of closers, some guy named Boone Logan and Nyjer needing encouragement.

 Never have I wanted a sign when I was hitting, and I have never relayed a sign to a hitter from second base, ever

The Man in White is traveling. Maybe he’s like Clooney in Up in the Air and just wants the platinum card and stealing signs is just an unfortunate byproduct. Probably not, though.

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Really starting to reach on these post titles. Tune in next week for “Quote Floats” or something. Also, I must add another RIP MCA cause it’s the worst.

Anyway, this week we have strange nicknames for Matt Wieters, jokes at the Marlins expense and I get all up on my soapbox.

At this point, I don’t know,” he said. “At this point, I don’t know. Going to have to face this first. It all depends on how the rehab is going to happen, and from there, we’ll see.

There’s a large part of me, the shitty part, that wants to make light of Rivera’s injury as it relates to him being a Yankee and me being a Jays fan. But I can’t. This sucks and I hope with all my baseball fandom that this is not how Rivera’s ridiculously impressive career ends.

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This week we have more Tony Plush greatness, Ian Kinsler picking up the slack due to a lack of Lance Berkman and Brandon Inge being terrible.

I’ve got a bad case of the coldness.

Nyjer Morgan is a poet. This is exactly how I would describe my hitting slump. What a legend.

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This week we have Derek Jeter being old, Jamie Moyer being even older and Michael Cuddyer existing. And, don’t worry, I hate myself for the title of this post too.

The other day, his son launched a deep shot out of the infield and proclaimed it a grand slam by Troy Tulowitzki.

Aw man, even Michael Cuddyer’s son doesn’t want to grow up to be Michael Cuddyer.

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