Sam Miller

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Hot and Sexy Gray Toyota Albert Pujols

Posted by Sam Miller under Annotated Box Score on Dec 15, 2011

There has been some pretty strained writing about Albert Pujols in the past week. There was the article that talked about what great news this is for the A’s, who will now get some more attendance revenue because Pujols will be playing some road games there? There was the LA Times article that posited that Pujols might be 39 years old? There are the columns that have nothing new to say so they’re just a collection of #jokes. I don’t blame the writers. When the whole world is writing about the same topic, the strain on individual writers is too much. There’s just not that much to write. There are way too many of us!

There has also been some great writing, most of it in sexy Twitter spam messages. For some reason, Albert Pujols is a popular term in sexy Twitter spam messages. This isn’t a joke I’m making. This is real talk. Sexy Twitter spam messages. These are the Albert Pujols sexy Twitter spam messages from the past 12 hours, along with hot and sexy Google Image results for key phrases:

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A dark and twisted spiral of Yu Darvish photos

Posted by Sam Miller under Annotated Box Score on Dec 05, 2011

This is a picture of Yu Darvish, the Japanese pitcher expected to be posted this winter and pitch in the U.S. next year:

It was posted at a site called MLB Reports, and another called Mop Up Duty, and probably a lot more, because it is in the first dozen results on Google Images. I found it on MLB Reports because I was looking for an instance of a writer saying teams were “lining up” for Darvish, because I was interested in making a pun about there being a queue but no Yu. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a doctor and cure diseases.

Anyway, that’s a picture of Yu Darvish. This is also a picture of Yu Darvish:

 

Why, that’s the same pictu…but… wha…

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Let’s talk about the Brian Wilson Chalupa commercial we have endured together

Posted by Sam Miller under Annotated Box Score on Oct 28, 2011

We’ve almost made it.

Now that we have just one more day of Brian Wilson’s XXL Chalupa commercial, let’s talk about Brian Wilson’s XXL Chalupa commercial.

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The Annotated Box Score: Chase Utley already has more WAR* than Jim Rice

Posted by Sam Miller under Annotated Box Score on Sep 19, 2011

Fun game. 

Dan: Yet here the Rays are, still competing with a team that has more than triple the payroll that they do.

Orel: It’s got to be Moneyball 2.

Bobby V: Moneyball-less? Less Moneyball? No Money (Pause) Baseball?

Naaaaaaaaaaailed it.

Box score:

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The Annotated Box Score: September call-ups are so precious

Posted by Sam Miller under Annotated Box Score on Sep 12, 2011

Cubs game! Let’s all race down to Wrigley Field, hold our tickets up, then lock arms with our weird cousin and run across the street.

Awww nevermind the Sunday Night game is at Citi Field. New York or Burst!

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The Annotated Box Score: The Eternal Scioscia

Posted by Sam Miller under Annotated Box Score on Aug 29, 2011

Did you guys see this? About how Bobby Valentine is the public-safety director of Stamford, Connecticut?

Valentine spent much of Friday in meetings discussing the emergency response to Hurricane Irene with city officials, recommending the city set up a Twitter account to provide residents with real-time updates on preparations and announcements. He did not return messages left Friday.

[Mayor Michael] Pavia said city officials will have a direct line to Valentine during the 8 p.m. game.

So many ????????s. Just the best.

Let’s do this Sunday Night game. The Rangers beat the Angels, Jeff Mathis allowed a bunch of runs to score, and we have an A, an A (part 2), a B, a C, and a D to discuss today.

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The Annotated Box Score: People whose browsers can go to only one site ask baseball questions

Posted by Sam Miller under Annotated Box Score on Aug 15, 2011

The best part of the Sunday Night game this week was when Bobby Valentine insulted Dan Schulman for being old. Dan Schulman is pretty young, and Bobby Valentine is pretty old. Bobby was like, “That was the year Babe Ruth hit 60 home runs. You were there to see it, right Dan? I bet you were there to see it. Zing, I totally got you Dan, cough cough cough, excuse me, cough cough, oh now I have to go pee again.”

Sunday Night box score!

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