Sam Miller

sam miller

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“Joe Girardi has stated he wants to win this series.”  – Orel Hershiser, 08/07/11

It was a working weekend for me, so I missed almost all of this Sunday night’s game. About all I picked up from it is that Dustin Pedroia is an MVP because he punches the bench when he gets out; that Pedroia has tiny, tiny hands, according to Bobby Valentine, who would know and definitely share that information; that Joe Girardi has stated he wants to win this series; and that, according to Valentine, bunting after a home run is considered a violation of an unwritten rule, which is an amazing unwritten rule. Also, it is my understanding this game might not even be over yet.

So, because that’s all I know about this game, you guys are getting a listicle today. There’s an A and there’s a B. Enjoy:

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My favorite part of this game was when Bobby Valentine said, upon Ryan Theriot being called on to pinch-hit: “We were wondering why he wasn’t in the lineup. It was just for this reason. Get the hottest guy up when you need him most.” The implications of this are staggering. Bobby Valentine is saying that you shouldn’t start your best players, because you might need them to pinch-hit. I just checked Baseball-Reference, and, sure enough, when Valentine managed the Mets in the late 1990s, he used Mike Piazza exclusively as a pinch-hitter.

(Note: No.)

Anyhow, that was my favorite part of this game:

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Rays Manager Joe Maddon ejected in extra-innings? Oh, man, I hope the ESPN crew brought this footage out for the occasion.

Here’s Bobby V talking about the time he was ejected in the 12th inning and snuck back into the dugout in a fake mustache and (real) sunglasses:

Anyway, today’s box score isn’t up yet, but today’s Annotated Box Score is ready to go. There’s an A and there’s a B:

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What a good-looking group of All-Stars, right guys? How good looking is the question that we will tackle this week. One item.

AS box

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Just before the break at the end of the fifth inning, Bobby Valentine was talking about Andrew McCutchen’s All-Star snub. It went something like this: “He only has 45 RBIs, he’s not batting .300. His OPS — ”

And then he got cut off. And the inning ended. And we never got to hear what Bobby Valentine was going to say about Andrew McCutchen’s OPS. But we did hear how he pronounces OPS. He pronounces it “opes,” like it rhymes with “soaps.” I’ve heard it pronounced to rhyme with “mops” quite a bit, but never opes. I have to admit, it was a thrill to hear.

Anyway. Box score:

Actually, no box score. I’m sick as a dog right now, so instead of me staying up late to get the box score when it’s released, let’s imagine it. It has the Dodgers and Angels playing, and the Angels winning 3-1, and I’ve drawn some lines and letters on it. There’s an A, and there’s a B. If you came here for the box score itself, I’m sorry. Let’s do this:

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Brian Wilson was unavailable to pitch in this game, which saved me the trouble of hunting around to find a picture of Beach Boy Brian Wilson together with Santana’s Carlos Santana, and saves you the trouble of looking at it. We’re all winners now, except for the Cleveland Indians.

Let’s break down this box score:

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It is my great regret that I am going to bed before the video of a ground ball knocking Ramiro Pena backward and then ricocheting to Eduardo Nunez so he could throw it directly into the ground is available online for me to gif. [Monday a.m. update: River Avenue Blues has it.]

This week’s topics are:

Let’s do this:

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