Archive for the ‘Giancarlo Stanton’ Category

Um…I…yeah. Giancarlo Stanton in bronze paint for ESPN Magazine’s Body Issue and not a lot else. Happy Tuesday! Apologies to any female readers as there is a better than average chance you are now pregnant. These things happen.

Note: if your workplace forbids naked manass during office hours, you should go ahead and not watch this video. Then, find work in a less uptight environment.

San Diego Padres v Miami Marlins

The Pirates are the darling of the National League in 2013, winners of nine games in a row and owners of the best record in baseball. They were also the best NL team in the month of June, winning 17 games. Somehow, the Braves great season flies under the radar, as they are first in the National League East having just put together a 16 win June.

The NL team with the next best record in June? Why the Miami Marlins, of course.

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Fresh off the disabled list, having missed more than forty days with a hamstring strain, Giancarlo Stanton takes Brewers reliever Jim Henderson deeeeeeeep to left center field to put the woeful Marlins ahead of the nearly-as-woeful Brewers in the bottom of the 8th inning.

A healthy Stanton makes the 2013 season at least 22% less crappy! And not a moment too soon. For the Marlins, I mean. Not my own personal well-being, or the well-being of their color commentator who screams “HE’S BAAAAACK!!!!!” when the ball leaves the yard. One man can only take so much Marlins baseball, I fear.

By the way: is anybody else completely enamored with the home run statue thing now? It’s pretty much the best.

It took him 18 games, but Giancarlo Stanton made up for lost time by clubbing his first home run of 2013 a long, long way. Only the glass beyond the left field wall in Marlins Park can protect the people and businesses of Little Havana from the power of Stanton.

How far was it? Well…


Sure, the Marlins are off to a horendous start thanks to one of the worst offenses in recent memory. Sure, they gutted their lineup and essentially robbed their fans and local taxpayers. Sure, the ony thing worth watching on the team is playing hurt and hasn’t hit a home run yet.

But damn if these boys don’t know how to pick a suit.

It seems the Marlins have a tradition of buying hideous suits whenever they travel to Cincinnati. Ricky Nolasco, Giancarlo Stanton, Alex Sanabia, and A.J. Ramos rock their ugly suits with pride.

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Cincinnati Reds v Miami Marlins

2012 Record: 69-93, 5th NL East
2012 Pythagorean Record: 68-94
Impact Player: RF Giancarlo Stanton
Impact Pitcher: RHP Ricky Nolasco
Top Prospect: RHP Jose Fernandez 

Significant Acquisitions: RHP Henderson Alvarez, 3B Placido Polanco, LF Juan Pierre, SS Adeiny Hechavarria, RHP Jon Rauch, RHP Kevin Slowey, 1B Casey Kotchman, C Jeff Mathis, RHP Chad Qualls, RHP John Maine, IF Wilson Valdez, LHP Scott Maine, UT Matt Downs  

Significant Departures: SS Jose Reyes, RHP Josh Johnson, LHP Mark Buehrle, UT Emilio Bonifacio, 1B Carlos Lee, RHP Heath Bell, C John Buck, OF Scott Cousins, RHP Carlos Zambrano, RHP Chad Gaudin

With a brand new, publicly-funded stadium and a decent core of players like Giancarlo Stanton, Logan Morrison, Josh Johnson, Hanley Ramirez, and Anibal Sanchez, the Miami Marlins ownership—led by the detestable Jeffrey Loria—finally decided to spend some money on the Major League roster and committed $191-million to three free agents last winter. Those free agents—Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle and Heath Bell—were supposed to turn an already decent up-and-coming team into a true contender.

Then everything went wrong. New manager Ozzie Guillen—whom the Marlins spend $10-million on and also sent to prospects to the White Sox to acquire—made some questionable decisions on and off the field and the stars of the team either got hurt or underperformed. Things went south quickly. In June, Miami sent Matt Dominguez and another prospect to Houston for first baseman Carlos Lee, thinking maybe it would turn around, but within a few weeks, they waved the white flag and began dismantling.

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2012 SiriusXM All-Star Futures Game

There is very little hardcore baseball fans love more than prospects. That the majority of prospect information comes in handy list form has a lot to do with this, I believe. But the promise of prospect gold is a very real and very appealing thing, especially for fans of moribund franchises who otherwise face the impending season with the sort of dread associated with the first colonoscopy of a middle-aged man’s life.

As one might expect, fans tend to overvalue prospects, especially those in the farm system of their chosen franchise. Their prospects will, against all odds and available information, sweep through the minor leagues without a hiccup, storming the big league roster by force.

This is not reality, however. Even the most highly touted prospects fizzle. Pitchers break down or just TINSTAAP their way out of baseball. The biggest level-to-level jump in baseball is going from Triple-A to the bigs. Many just can’t make it.

Don’t let the boring shackles of reality constrain your throbbing prospect member – let your biased prospect flag fly and, gasp, enjoy yourself.

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