Archive for the ‘I Watched This On Purpose’ Category

Every Thursday, the Getting Blanked crew makes a prop bet of sorts with one another having something to do with baseball games over the weekend. Of the three competitors, whoever wins the prop bet is able to dole out a punishment on the colleague of their choice. This week’s punishment was watching and recapping Monday night’s Colorado Rockies and Arizona Diamondbacks game. We call this #PropHate.

The Narrative

The Arizona Diamondbacks and Colorado Rockies are teams in Major League Baseball, or at the very least the National League, who go through the motions of playing Major League Baseball games against each other in spite of the fact that they’re the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Colorado Rockies. One of them even has a chance at making the playoffs this year, and they’re the ones who’ve let it be known throughout the sport that they’re looking to trade their most talented player. WTF?

Could any of this be possible? Can Mark Grace keep it in his pants long enough to provide the analysis on Fox Sports Arizona? Is Aaron Hill actually not only still in existence, but actually having a good year? Could Mr. T possibly have aged that well? Did Ian Kennedy hit a triple? And Willie Bloomquist a double?? If the whole world is watching Ichiro making his Yankee debut in Seattle is this game even happening???

The answer to all these questions–except one, I think– is, unfortunately, yes.

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Every Thursday, the Getting Blanked crew makes a prop bet of sorts with one another having something to do with baseball games over the weekend. Of the three competitors, whoever wins the prop bet is able to dole out a punishment on the colleague of their choice. Typically, that punishment is watching and recapping what we would imagine to be an unappealing baseball game for the neutral observer. We call it: I Watched This On Purpose.

Earlier this week, I wrote a rebuke aimed at those who complain about Major League Baseball’s All-Star Game. I chastised the punk rock baseball fans who criticize the Mid-Summer Classic for being too commercial, too gimmicky and too meaningless. It was a giant finger wagging exercise meant to snap those who imagine the All-Star Game to be something meant for their enjoyment out of their delusion.

It’s not for us, I suggested. It’s a marketing vehicle for the game of baseball, for the league, the brand, for everything that Bud Selig spends time and energy promoting. It’s explicitly for the benefit of those who don’t read baseball blogs, don’t understand fielding independent pitching numbers and certainly don’t think about the game’s next exploitable market inefficiency. It’s for kids. It’s for casual fans.

I even went so far as to suggest that if you read Getting Blanked regularly, the MLB All-Star Game probably isn’t for you.

After viewing last night’s game, I wish to amend this previously stated opinion and offer a new one: The All-Star Game, in its current format, isn’t suitable for any living thing. It’s not for baseball nerds, not for casual fans, not for the baseball equivalents of twice a year church goers.

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Every Thursday, the Getting Blanked crew makes a prop bet of sorts with one another having something to do with baseball games over the weekend. Of the three competitors, whoever wins the prop bet is able to dole out a punishment on the colleague of their choice. This week’s punishment was watching and recapping Monday night’s San Diego Padres and Houston Astros game. We call this #PropHate.

The Narrative

I imagine a late June game between the Houston Astros and San Diego Padres to be something like an off Broadway play that everyone is aware of, but still wouldn’t bother going to see. It’s not wholly or completely unbelievable to learn that the production was entertaining, but it’s an entertainment that you’re willing to pass up given the likelihood that it stars no one you’ve heard of and will take longer to complete than you’d prefer.

As such, let’s look at last night’s game as though it was a play.

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Every Thursday, the Getting Blanked crew makes a prop bet of sorts with one another having something to do with baseball games over the weekend. Of the three competitors, whoever wins the prop bet is able to dole out a punishment on the colleague of their choice. This week’s punishment was watching and recapping Monday night’s Kansas City Royals and Houston Astros game. We call this #PropHate.

The Narrative

I can’t even pretend. In fact, never before in the history of baseball has a series opened with fewer people able to convince anyone else that they were interested in it. The Kansas City Royals share no history with the Houston Astros. There’s no rivalry. There is absolutely no link between the two teams other than an arbitrary geographic proximity that might be interesting if the two teams were in the same division, but alas they are not. Yay, interleague.

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Every Thursday, the Getting Blanked crew makes a prop bet of sorts with one another having something to do with baseball games over the weekend. Of the three competitors, whoever wins the prop bet is able to dole out a punishment on the colleague of their choice. This week’s punishment was watching and recapping Monday night’s Minnesota Twins and Kansas City Royals game. We call this #PropHate.

The Narrative

Ugh. It kind of sucks to watch a game between the two bottom feeders in the American League Central. It really sucks to be the two bottom feeders in the American League Central. I mean look at this starting pitching match up: Will Smith vs. Cole DeVries.

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Every Thursday, the Getting Blanked crew makes a prop bet of sorts with one another having something to do with baseball games over the weekend. Of the three competitors, whoever wins the prop bet is able to dole out a punishment on the colleague of their choice. This week’s punishment was watching and recapping Monday afternoon’s San Diego Padres and Chicago Cubs game. We call this #PropHate.

When thinking of Prop Hate punishments, it often comes down to pitching matchups. As avowed baseball snobs, great pitching gets our blood flowing. This makes the opposite — two bad teams featuring less than sexy starting pitchers — quite the buzz kill. I mean really: who, in 2012, wants to watch Jeff Suppan pitch?

Not the front offices of 30 major league teams for most of the offseason, that much is clear. The Padres plucked Suppan from obscurity and signed him to a minor league deal in February, hoping for the best. The best being “hope our ballpark lets him eat 150 mostly painless innings.”

The flipside of a bad pitching matchup is the potential for a slugfest. Slugfests aren’t bad in an of themselves, sometimes they can be downright entertaining. Lacking the cache of the Matt Cain/Cliff Lee pitching duel from early April, a full-blown donnybrook of offensive upheaval.

With the Cubs (mired in a twelve game losing streak) facing the Padres (entered the game scoreless in 26 innings with fewer home runs to their collective name than Josh Hamilton), the potential of an offensive onslaught is low. Not zero, however. The offenses of these two clubs are just like the bald eagle used for the pre-game jingoism rituals: lying in wait. Waiting for someone to remove the blinders from over its eyes so they might unleash their awful wrath on the world. The blinders coming off for the Cubs and Padres respective offenses? Gale-force winds blowing directly out of Wrigley Field on a humid May afternoon. And did those offenses soar…

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Every Thursday, the Getting Blanked crew makes a prop bet of sorts with one another having something to do with baseball games over the weekend. Of the three competitors, whoever wins the prop bet is able to dole out a punishment on the colleague of their choice. This week’s punishment was watching and recapping Tuesday night’s Minnesota Twins and Chicago White Sox game. We call this #PropHate.

The Flowery Languaged Narrative

As the Chicago White Sox dig their malnourished and calcium depleted claws into the American League Central standings with the hope of remaining relevant enough to play meaningful games three months from now, the Minnesota Twins’ expectations for this season have already been snuffed like a candle put out by its own melted wax.

Could this rag tag roster, constructed for its grit and determination, find redemption for their lost season with a single heroic effort against the White Sox and starting pitcher Gavin Floyd?

A.J. Pierzynski knew first.

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