My boss is a Seattle Mariners fans. It isn’t really his fault, he grew up in Vancouver and therefore suffers from the same malady afflicting all people from “London Ontario but with mountains and an ocean you cannot enjoy because all the rain lives there” – his view of the universe is skewed, like looking through a kaleidoscope under water.
When I first exclaimed “Jason Bay to the Mariners” aloud, his reaction was very simple and very clear: “OHHH NOOOOOO.” Then he swore and made the Chone Figgins reference you see in the headline. The Mariners are reportedly close to taking a one year flyer on the former Mets outfielder and native of Some Fresh Aired Suburb, British Columbia (or Far-flung Smelting Town, same diff) – a free agent after the Mets did to Bay what the Mariners did to Figgins: paid him to go the hell away.
With a piece of news that is equal parts inevitable and shocking, the New York Mets and outfielder Jason Bay have agreed to “part ways” per an official @MLB tweet, making the once-good outfielder a free agent. The shocking part comes at the cost to the Mets, as Bay is owed SIXTEEN MILLION DOLLARS for 2013 as well as a $3 mil buyout for the 2014 season.
In all honesty, today’s show is kind of a bummer. What a bunch of negative nellies! Jason Bay? No good! The Astros? No good! The Clevelands? No good AND they have a racist nickname! Were it not for Michael Fiers and the matrix that builds the schedule, this would be 25 minutes of complaining. Just like every other show ever!