Archive for the ‘No. You’re A Slow News Day’ Category

You may recall an incident from late April that saw former 1st overall pick Delmon Young getting himself arrested in New York on account of allegedly assaulting a man outside of his hotel and uttering some anti-Semitic remarks. Fast forward nearly eight months later and Tony Aiello of CBSNewYork reports via Twitter that Young has plead guilty to aggravated harassment. Aiello also reports that Young must complete ten days of community service and attend a program at the Museum of Tolerance.

You didn’t think Delmon Young would walk, did you? Delmon Young never walks.

The Detroit Tigers have indicated that they have no intention of bringing Young back next season. Young finished 2012 with a .267/.296/.411 triple slash line to go along with 18 home run while serving as the team’s primary DH. It’s fathomable that a team may mistakenly lob considerable dollars at him this offseason on the heels of a strong showing in the postseason where he hit three home runs and finished with a very un-Delmon .313/.365/.542 showing.

It is just like the Yankees to bid against themselves and drive up the price of something only they can really afford. It works that way for high-end free agents and it works that way on another free agent market, too.

As the holiday season rolls around, deep-pocketed people with too much time on their hands desperately search for new and inventive gifts to express their love. What better way to showcase your own capacity for selfless thought than selecting the perfect gift that hits all the right emotional notes?

Due to their unbelievable legacy of success and base of operations just a few miles from Wall Street, the Yankees have their share of wealthy fans. Wealthy fans who shell out big bucks for arcane memorabilia or random pieces of their old stadium or just about anything tangentially related to the Bronx Bombers.

While the tangible artifacts are few and far between, the vast expanse of the internet offers numerous places for well-heeled Yankees fans to flex their fandom. Can I interest you in Derek Jeter’s Baseball Reference page, Mr. Stockbroker, sir?

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Though he didn’t look like it last night, CC Sabathia is an ace. He’s a stud and a true #1 starter. There are very few of them in this world and, like pornography, you know one when you see one.

The idea of an “ace” is constantly kicked around by all fans: the most “casual” types wondering if their team’s Opening Day starter qualifies as a legitimate ace or the prospect types projecting and/or wishcasting on a low-A fireballer.

Who are the real aces in baseball right now? Recently Jason Parks of Baseball Prospectus tweeted that you can name all the aces in baseball right now on two hands. Is it true? Below, a list of one man’s humble opinions in no particular order.

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With a boost of inspiration via the great LSUFreek and the best thing to come out of last night’s presidential debate, we present hair switching with managers of MLB’s postseason teams. We even opted for a little interleague play because none of this is intended to make any sense.

Jim Leyland vs. Mike Matheny

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It’s not easy finding love in the big city at the best of times, but when you’ve gotten out in all but five of your twenty-five plate appearances this postseason, and your manager has pulled you from the game on multiple occasions for a pinch-hitter, it’s downright near impossible.

So, perhaps, we might find some forgiveness in our hearts for New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez taking a proactive approach to his love life on Saturday night when, after being replaced by Eric Chavez in the eighth inning of his team’s 6-4 loss to the Detroit Tigers, A-Rod was spotted attempting to procure the telephone numbers belonging to a pair of women sitting behind the Yankees dugout.

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If we look into the results of a recent player poll conducted by ESPN The Magazine, we learn that the typical baseball player is a homophobic Republican who believes that abortion is a sin worse than gambling but not as bad as smoking marijuana.

That’s probably an unfair exaggeration, but it does reflect the results of the recently released informal poll that samples a very small selection of Major League Baseball players (that surprisingly included more than just Chipper Jones) with the following questions:

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Sometimes, you don’t need to comment. Certain things should just be left alone and allowed to breathe for themselves.

Smush.