Archive for the ‘No. You’re A Slow News Day’ Category

My heart goes out to the kid in the camouflaged Pittsburgh Pirates shirsey beside his younger and luckier brother, adorned in a black Pittsburgh Pirates shirsey and gold chain who won himself a foul ball this afternoon. No, it’s not because he missed out on the souvenir, or even that he’ll have to tolerate his younger brother telling the same story over and over again on the way home from the ballpark today. It’s for other, more deeply resonating reasons he receives my pity.

Look at the kid, as he adjusts his hat. Look at the expression on his face. It’s a wistful mix of misery and revelation. He just became painfully aware that the only significance the remainder of his life will encounter is to be found solely in his role as a supporting character in his brother’s life. His brother, at four or five years old, has already achieved a level of contentment with the world that he will never have.

Life will be incredibly easy for this younger sibling. And that ease with which he encounters positive experiences throughout his existence will only further burden his older brother, whose inescapable jealousy will heap misery on his days. Sadly, one brother has been chosen by fate to be a winner. The other has been chosen to be made aware of this inequality.

Something happened to this pair today. Fate made its presence known, and fate dictates that the younger brother will be the star of his own life, and the older brother is to be but a supporting player in that drama.

Dance Off!


In this corner, we have the returning champions: Jose Bautista and Brett Lawrie from Toronto giving us all a little taste of Richmond Street.

And their opponents for today: A salsa dancing duo from Atlanta named Martin Prado and Kris Medlen.

With considerable thanks to The Blue Jay Hunter and Cardboard Junkies.

This is Cincinnati Reds prospect Billy Hamilton. Cincinnati Reds prospect Billy Hamilton is fast. He’s very fast. Not only is he fast, but he’s also good at base running.

I know this because since the beginning of last season, over two levels of Minor League Baseball, Hamilton has stolen 183 bases in 201 games. Over that same amount of time, he’s only been caught stealing 36 times, giving him a successful stolen base rate of 84%.

It’s exactly the type of thing that we’d normally spend time writing about at Getting Blanked, and yet, there have been few mentions of Hamilton on these pages. But why?

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Updating a previous item on the Twitter ruckus that Toronto Blue Jays third baseman Brett Lawrie caused when he interacted with a heckling fan last night in Milwaukee, Tom Haudricourt of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel is reporting that Jose Bautista stepped in to stop the exchange from going any further than it did.

Indeed. You might say that the entire incident is much a-Brew about nothing. Heyo!

Out of context, you might wonder how someone who looks like this …

… would ever be confused for a “gringo,” and not a starting pitcher for the New York Yankees who was born in San Cristobal in the Dominican Republic. However, that tweet was likely in reference to this tweet …

… which I imagine was in reference to this tweet …

… which, if you think about it, is exactly the type of Spanglish error that a non-gringo would make.

Oh, social media. What would bloggers do without you?

San Francisco Giants reliever Sergio Romo went to the barber shop yesterday and cut back the salad coiffure and facial hair explosion that he was sporting into an elegant faux hawk and restrained mustache/chin strap/goatee triumvirate of bristle.

Romo, sometimes overshadowed by a bigger personality in the Giants bullpen, has been one of the best relievers in baseball for the last five years. In fact, only three relievers have a better FIP over that time, and none of them have thrown for as many innings or made as many appearances as Romo. Over that same time span, only Koji Uehara and Mariano Rivera have a better strike out to walk ratio.

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I read something about Steven Tyler one time, and I’m pretty sure the details I’m about to relay are wrong (maybe the Aerosmith fans among us can correct me), but it’s the spirit of this story that matters more than anything else.

During a mid 80s Aerosmith reunion tour, the band held an intervention and convinced Tyler to enter a drug rehabilitation program.

After successfully completing his treatment, Tyler felt as though he was experiencing everything again for the first time. From ice cream cones to conversations, it was all new again for the famous front man.

One day, while walking around in Manhattan, Tyler decided to go into a record store. While inside, he began flipping through his band’s records, and while looking through all of the titles, it dawned on him that he had no memory whatsoever of putting any of the greatest hits albums together and foggy recollections at best of recording several of Aerosmith’s most popular tracks.

For some reason, that sort of reminds me of this:

Of course, David Price didn’t battle any drug addiction that would have caused him to forget that he once pitched right handed. The baseball card is merely confusing him with James Shields (or else an amazing work of Photoshop). However, it does remind us that the representation of athletes and singers and other celebrities might not always be the most accurate.

And it also reminds us of this:

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