Archive for the ‘Scorn’ Category

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v Houston Astros

Joe Blanton is not off to a good start to his Los Angeles Angels career. Most of that stems directly from the fact that, well, Joe Blanton isn’t an especially good pitcher. He’s serviceable, or was, before the start of 2013. In his eight starts for the Halos, Blanton has been very bad.

He was especially bad last night. He was quintessentially 2013 Joe Blanton bad. He didn’t give up a home run, which tends to be a Joe Blanton calling card. He did, however, surrender 12 hits in 4.2 innings, allowing seven runs. He didn’t walk anyone, because he’s Joe Blanton. He did, however, strikeout seven hitters. Which is weird. But still: bad.

As a struggling pitcher, Joe Blanton is prone to expressions of frustration on the hill. The more you struggle, the more frustrated he grows. Over and over, the cycle repeats.

What remains is a series of images, lovingly curated below, of Joe Blanton looking exasperated. Enjoy, non-Angels fans.

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There are few things in baseball more anticlimactic than a walkoff walk (unless you happen to know what “shrimp” means, then it’s TOTALLY THE OPPOSITE.) But for most, normal, functioning people, a walkoff walk is a missed opportunity to whoop it up and celebrate a dramatic victory.

The Toronto Blue Jays of 2013 have been just that – anticlimactic. After a roster overhaul landed them squarely in the middle of playoff favorites in the winter, the real baseball season has provided only heartbreak. Disappointment. Let down.

What better way for the Blue Jays to lose then by walkoff walk? Brad Lincoln misses low and the Rays win! The Blue Jays slink off the field as defeated men. The Rays, meanwhile, halfheartedly celebrate around Luke Scott, who drew crucial base on balls.

Walkoff walks are the best and the worst. The Blue Jays are mostly just the worst. At least they aren’t protesting a game against the freaking Astros, as Mike Scioscia‘s Angels are currently playing their game in Houston under protest after an illegal pitching change. Or something. God, what disastrous seasons for both these sad-sack teams.

To say nothing of the Astros, the team happiness forgot. Misery follows that pathetic outfit around like a lost puppy.

Boston Red Sox v Toronto Blue Jays

It was always going to be a dicey proposition for the Toronto Blue Jays. Taking on salary and players previously slowed by injury as they attempted to bolster their lineup as part of a big playoff push. There are no certainties in this world but the Blue Jays definitely seemed to add a lot of talent in exchange for many promising young players.

The Marlins would rebuild around some of their new toys from the Blue Jays vaunted farm system and the Blue Jays would make their charge towards the pennant.

One month into the first season after a deal is too early to officially judge a trade and decide winners or losers. Especially for this deal, which looks like it might end up with both sides taking the L.

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Rays suck

Remember yesterday when we praised the Mariners marketing initiatives, engendering good will in the face of decades of futility on the field? With the Mariners starting the season on the road, they opened Safeco Field to fans and it was an unqualified success.

The Rays are the opposite of the Mariners. They built a very successful ballclub in a less-than-optimal location, with very little fan support for a whole host of reasons. The Rays, try as they might, haven’t built the same type of love affair with their fans.

The Rays are still willing to try, however. They see how well the Mariners create memorable experiences for their fans and they want a piece of that pie. So what did the Rays do? They ripped off one of the most successful Mariners promotions and made it their own.

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Detroit Tigers v New York Yankees - Game One

So maybe Major League Baseball is even more determined to attack drug cheats than previously thought. After reports the Drug Squad’s dogged pursuit of Ryan Braun and other stars failed to yield anything substantial, a New York Times report suggests the League will instead file a lawsuit against Biogenesis claiming “the individuals damaged the sport by providing some of the game’s biggest stars with performance-enhancing drugs.”

This is a huge, albeit desperate, step in the efforts to rid the game of performance-enhancing drugs. The big question is: will it work?

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Milwaukee Brewers v St Louis Cardinals - Game Five

Nothing beats a good, old fashioned, witch hunt. According to Bob Nightengale of the USA Today, MLB’s PED posse pursues Ryan Braun with dogged determination, eager to tie the former National League MVP to a PED conviction that will stick. Nightengale uses plenty of inflammatory statements meant to demonstrate how “badly” they “want” Braun after his positive test was overturned due to improper handling of the sample in early 2012.

At first blush it is sort of embarrassing that the league or the investigators would fixate on one player simply because he escaped their clutches through a loophole a year ago. But then again, maybe shouldn’t chasing down cheats be the exact reason this task force exists?

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2011 World Series Game 7 - Texas Rangers v St Louis Cardinals

There is a difference between evil and Evil. Evil with a capital E is reserved for despots and dictators or political manoeuvrers who march men into certain death by the thousands for their own personal gain. Evil in the baseball world is not really evil. Operating within the sphere of baseball generally gets one off the “evil” hook.

Which doesn’t exclude people within baseball from operating like total scumbags, however.

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