Archive for the ‘The Battle of Los Angeles’ Category

A #DADLAP, butt-chin, mullet combo conveniently bundled up into a ridiculously catchy 80s pop song. How could you possibly resist? Something tells me that few did, and Huey spread “the news” and other things, before/during/after this video shoot. What a guy. And how great is that song?! #DADROCK

That said, after 38 years of existing on this planet, I have finally realized that Huey Lewis is fucking awesome … which means that I’ve almost completed my transition from rebellious eternally-teenaged band dude to becoming my dad. Pretty soon I’ll be delivering State of the Union addresses at the dinner table, citing W-L records in baseball conversations and wearing my pants pulled up to my tits.  #DADLAP

On a less depressing note …

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Your 2013 Los Angeles Dodgers.

The Week That Was

LAA – 2-5 (Baseball Prospectus Playoff Odds as of 8/13: 0.0%.)

That’s ZERO for those of you keeping score at home. For the rest of you, it’s also ZERO.

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I haven’t listened to this entire song in … maybe forever. And I’ve realized that the only part we ever hear during Los Angeles sporting events is the “best” part. And by “best”, I mean “least awful” part. I know this might fall on deaf ears, but I’m of the opinion that the song in its entirety is an absolute mess (and I won’t even comment on the video). Lounge-core intro? Check. Calypso interlude? Check. Prog/Space-rock bridge? CHEEEYECK. Ugh. It’s fucking awful.

Los Angeles in 2013 is traffic and traffic and more traffic and missed appointments/reservations and clearing your schedule to do ONE THING because of traffic and some more traffic and no parking and even more traffic. If you had the good fortune of being loaded (with money, coke and booze and limo drivers) in the 80s, I’m sure it was an full-blown party. Now, it sucks all of the balls.


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Yup. You just got Bon Jovied.

(Has anyone every seen Jon Bon Jovi and Ellen DeGeneres in the same room? I didn’t think so.)

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I’m back? What’d I miss? Anything? Anything at all?

In a way, the answer to that is “no”. The Angels are actually worse off than they were when I’d left them for dead back in mid-June. When I left for tour they were 11 games back, mostly impossible to watch, and now they’re 14 games back, entirely impossible to watch and wholly infuriating.

On the other hand, the answer is “Yes. Lots.” Apparently the Dodgers can’t lose now? Wonderful. They went 21-6 while I was on the road. 21-6! Apparently throwing money at things only works if you throw ALL OF THE MONEY at ALL OF THE THINGS (and if people get healthy and Hanley Ramirez rediscovers the cheat code that he had in 2009).

As it turns out, you can’t just throw ungodly amounts of cash at big-ticket Free Agents without addressing glaring needs in your team’s rotation and bullpen. Weird how that works, eh Arte Moreno?

Before we jump back into this mess, I must extend a massive thanks to my man Ian Miller for showing just how much of a hack I am by writing fantastic Battle Of The Bay columns in my absence. Not only did he keep you all thoroughly entertained, but he took the template I cobbled together over the first 13 weeks of the season and made it much better. The bar has been raised. I just hope I can reach it.

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Cincinnati Reds v San Francisco Giants

This is my last Battle of the Bay column, and I want to extend a hearty and heartfelt thanks to both Drew Fairservice and Riley Breckenridge for letting me pinch-hit for Riley while he was out gallavantin’. This was a freaking blast, not least of which because it let me watch a ton of baseball games and pretend I was actually working. Can’t ever complain about that.

The Week That Was

Oakland Athletics: 2-2 (Baseball Prospectus Playoff Odds as of July 23: 83.1%)

The A’s can do dumb shit like make three errors against the Astros, trail most of the game, and still win.  

Oakland dropped a series to the Angels, but they now have a chance to get well against a horrendous Astros club. They took the first game of the series last night, despite making 74 errors and generally playing like shit. You can do that when you play the Astros, I guess.

San Francisco Giants: 2-2  (Baseball Prospectus Playoff Odds as of 7/23: 3.8%)

I’m often tempted to refer to this season as a trainwreck, but that’s far too interesting. This here is a much closer approximation of the Giants’ 2013 season.

The Giants won a series against former division leaders Arizona, which helped the Dodgers take the lead in the NL West. Also, Tim Lincecum and the Giants got absolutely brutalized by the visiting Reds last night. Would losing three of four this week be enough to convince Brian Sabean to sell?

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San Francisco Giants v San Diego Padres

I had the most magical dream. It involved Tim Lincecum and Hunter Pence and there was a no-hitter and Buster and Timmy actually weren’t fighting anymore, and the Giants scored 24 runs in a four-game series and that is how I know it never actually happened.

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