(Ed. Note: With Riley on tour for the next few weeks, we tapped his partner at Productive Outs Ian Miller to fill-in and offer his take on the other simmering regional battle in California: the fight for the Bay between the San Francisco Giants and the Oakland A’s. Ian is a Giants fan living in Oakland so you know he’ll give us the goods. Follow Ian on twitter and Productive Outs, too.)
HELLO CANADA. I BID YOU A BELATED HAPPY CANADA DAY.
I’d actually never heard of Canada Day before this week, but I suspect it’s a lot like our (the U.S. of A’s) Independence Day. So I hope you enjoyed your day-drinking, fireworks exhibitions, and poor decision-making.
I’m thrilled to be pinch-hitting for Riley while he’s out doing rock n’ roll things. Given my strategic location in Oakland, California, just three miles from the O.co Coliseum or whatever they’re calling that place these days, I’ll be delivering hard-hitting reportage on the Battle of the Bay, with unique insights on the inner workings of the Athletics and the Giants.
Nah, just kidding. Mostly I’ll be making cheap, tangentially baseball-related jokes and trying to make you laugh.
Weight. Expectations. Crumbling. Get it? (Jokes are always much better when you explain them.)
LAD – 3-4
So much promise. So much potential.
But ultimately, you just end up face down with your face firmly shoved into the Earth’s crust, drowning slowly at edge of a liquid galaxy with your b-hole showing (until you realize that you have a Cuban superhero who you can call to save the day, apparently).