Roger Goodell is prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice for the betterment of the NFL in the event of a work stoppage this March. He’s already stocked up on his batteries, blankets, beef jerky, and Chunky Soup, and now he’ll be adding another item to his inventory of survival supplies.
The commissioner of the NFL has said that he will reduce his $10 million salary to $1 when the seemingly inevitable work stoppage begins on March 4. The league’s chief negotiator Jeff Pash will follow suit, knocking his modest salary of $5 million to a single dollar as well.
Now I know the first thing that crossed your mind when hearing this shocking news, after thinking that Goodell is still getting paid too much. What will the Tony Soprano of North American professional sports do with his dollar for the betterment of the league?
We have a few ideas…
- Flip it. Heads: 18-game season. Tails: 16-game season. This strategy won’t work if he receives a bill when trying to cash his paycheck at the bank.
- Buy a newspaper on Sunday, Sept. 11 — the day the 2011 NFL season is supposed to start on. The bright side: with the NFL potentially enduring a work stoppage, papers will have more room for 9-11 10th anniversary coverage.
- Buy 0.1 gallons of gas for his Mercedes.
- Turn it into 100 pennies, find a fountain and wish for football in 2011.
- In honour of Pacman Jones, make it rain…conservatively.