Pictures and videos of Tom Brady’s latest hair and wardrobe malfunction while attending the Carnival in Rio began to surface Monday morning. They showed Brady walking around the festive Brazilian night wearing an advertisement for Oral-B, and sporting a stub of a pony tail that will one day be on the cover of a coffee table book about bad pony tails. I’ll buy it and place it beside my coffee table book about coffee tables.
While prancing around in this ridiculous outfit Brady’s supermodel wife Gisele Bundchen was draped off his arm. She’s the reason why they were in Brazil, and she presumably let him walk out the door looking like a college dropout, not a millionaire quarterback.
Somehow, the Internet survived for a day.
We resisted joining the masses and posting the pictures at first. Even though this week is set to be excruciatingly slow, no week is ever that slow. There’s a line of absurdity even we won’t cross, and it’s drawn at posts dedicated solely to Brady’s hair. It’s long, and ridiculous looking, and it’s been long and ridiculous looking for a long time.
But throw in a few dance moves in a new video unearthed this morning by Jimmy Traina, and that’s all we needed. Brady makes the average nervous teenager at his first high school dance look like Patrick Swayze.