It’s amazing how educational this job can be. Just the other day I learned that in some states exotic wild animals are heavily restricted, which immediately pulled the plug on my plans to retire in Arizona and become the crazy alligator guy.

Today that educational process continued when we found out that the International Federation of American Football is a real thing that actually exists, and they hold a World Championship tournament every four years. Featuring amateur players, the tournament has qualifying and is played on a field with what appears to be standard football boundaries and dimensions. They have referees, helmets, numbers, and names on their backs.

The World Championship–which is being held in Austria this year–even has its own Wikipedia page, proving forever that it’s a legitimate thing that people purchase tickets to watch. Which leaves us with one question during this locked out NFL offseason that continues to tease our heart strings with tentative end dates: where are our press credentials?!?

As Sports Grid tells us, Team America is predictably the defending champs of a worldwide tournament with “American” in the title, and trounced Australia 61-0 in their opening game (highlights in the video above). While a U.S. win was certainly expected in this matchup of two fierce international pigskin rivals, the demolition is mildly surprising given the Aussie passion for rugby. Evidently those skills don’t transfer at all, not even a little bit.

This is just the fourth time the tournament has been held. It’s currently in the group stage, with the eight teams separated into two groups. Canada qualified for the first time this year, and those hosers rolled over France 45-10. Mexico and Germany are also in Group 1 with the United States and Australia, and the perennial football powerhouses of Japan and Austria round out Group 2 with Canada and France.

Since we have wild imaginations and little else to do except fill you with potentially false lockout optimism, we thought about what Team USA would look like if NFL players were permitted to embarrass the rest of the world in this tournament.

Based mainly on our offseason positional power rankings, here’s our suggested starting lineup for Team USA:

QB: Tom Brady
RB: Chris Johnson
FB: Vonta Leach
WR: Andre Johnson
WR: Larry Fitzgerald
TE: Jason Witten
LT: Jake Long
LG: Carl Nicks
C: Nick Mangold
RG: Josh Sitton
RT: Joe Thomas

DE: Justin Smith
DT: Haloti Ngata
DE: Ndamukong Suh
OLB: DeMarcus Ware
ILB: Patrick Willis
ILB: Jerod Mayo
OLB: Clay Matthews
CB: Nnamdi Asomugha
S: Troy Polamalu
S: Ed Reed
CB: Darrelle Revis

PK: Rob Bironas
P: Shane Lechler
KR: Leon Washington

That’s essentially our all-world team. The only player the U.S. couldn’t have was punter Mat McBriar, who is born in Australia.