Pete Prisco of talked to an anonymous player this morning, and he offered his rather candid take on the current state of affairs in the league’s ongoing labor mess.

Throughout last week we heard reports that a new CBA was close, with highly optimistic words like “imminent” used to describe the negotiations. Those reports intensified Thursday morning when Roger Goodell and DeMaurice Smith kindly joined the latest session, at which point the conflicting reports bouncing us between optimism (“we might have a deal next week!”) and pessimism (“they’re still far apart!”) started to fly.

Prisco’s unidentified player source wanted to set the record straight, and he used some rather creative and colorful language to do it. First, the player said that any reports of a forthcoming deal are simply not true, and that those rumors are being pushed by the owners in a ploy to create a false public perception and put pressure on the players.

“All that is hype coming from the owners side to try and put pressure on us to do a deal. They want to make us look bad. It’s simply not true. There is a lot of work to be done. They are not close.”

Then came the fun part, with this anonymous source encouraging NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to drop something personal.

“When Gene Upshaw and Paul Tagliabue went into a room, they got it done. That’s what needs to happen now. The players in there are smart, but they don’t know how to close a deal. As for Goodell, he needs to drop his nuts. He needs to have the power to do a deal. It needs to be two guys in a room.”

For those keeping score at home, that’s the first public reference to private male parts during the lockout. Frankly, we’re shocked it took until early July.