You don’t know what Jeep skating is? I guess you’re not familiar with the Macarena either. Pogs, Pokemon, and Cabbage Patch Kids are also foreign, and you don’t know why anyone would want to be taught how to Dougie. You assume planking has something to do with building a deck.

All the kids are Jeep skating nowadays. Every little hellion in suburbia has a Jeep, and while their friend drives at a low speed, they hang off the side and push the ground with their foot. It accomplishes nothing, but the thrill of the gravel and/or unforgiving pavement zooming by inches away from your flesh is a rush akin to skydiving.

The rush is so great that even millionaire NFL players like Jets receiver Santonio Holmes can’t resist. He took to the streets in excitement yesterday when he heard that the lockout was set to end imminently.

Holmes will finally and officially be a free agent this Friday, and is the leading receiver set to make that triumphant cannonball into the unrestricted free agency pool and all of its riches.

We’re sure Holmes was just using Jeep skating to maintain his leg strength before his massive pay day.

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