From now on whenever a friend or family member is between jobs, you should just assume that their next place of employment will be with the Eagles. Maybe it’ll be something as simple as being a janitor or ball boy, or they could actually be signed to play football despite having no experience whatsoever.

But they’ll go to Philadelphia, because everyone is. Maybe even players who retired because they’re supposedly not wanted.

Randy Moss announced his retirement on Monday, and officially filed his retirement papers today. While that sounds important, it means absolutely nothing. Just think about how much those nasty retirement papers have held Brett Favre back over the years, most notably in 2008 when he handed in his paperwork during the offseason, and then proceeded to court Jenn Sterger in New York the next fall.

The antidote for retirement papers is simple: unretirement papers. As league spokesman Greg Aiello told Ian Rapoport of the Boston Globe, players just have to file papers of the second variety to unretire. And if/when Moss files those papers and rejoins the NFL some time this year, it turns out he’s wanted after all.

The Globe’s Karen Guregian reports that just after Moss filed his papers to make his retirement “official,” the Eagles made an offer. Eventually this has to stop, right? The salary cap says the Eagles can’t employ every remaining free agent, and we’re sure the salary cap still exists. The Eagles are roughly $3 million away from that budgetary line after signing Ronnie Brown last night, and DeSean Jackson still wants a new contract and hasn’t made a training camp appearance yet. We’re not making any of this up, yet apparently an Eagles contract is about as easy to obtain as a pack of Junior Mints.

Eagles cap questions aside, the reported offer to Moss breathes life into a widely held theory by skeptics, and those who are incapable of believing any NFL retirement (thanks again, Favre). That theory states that Moss is just being Moss right now, and his ego was bruised when he was allowed to go belly-up in the NFL’s free agency pool. The wound finally went deep enough to prompt retirement when his good ol’ pal Bill Belichick went with a loud, old, and declining Chad Ochocinco, instead of a loud, old, and declining Moss.

He’ll be back though, and that triumphant hopeless and painful return will happen shortly after the first major injury to a wide receiver who plays for a contending team. Desperate for fortification and depth at the position, the hypothetical team in need of a receiver will be much more open to signing Moss since contracts aren’t guaranteed once the season starts.

If a championship-caliber team like the Eagles is willing to reach out now when a chunk of Moss’ contract would still be guaranteed, the olive branch will surely be there in September. For minimal cost and risk, a team can buy the five plays in which Moss decides to try every game. Even at his advanced age he could show flashes of his old self if he’s used sparingly and put in the right offense.

The temptation will be there, but will Moss’ mind be in the right place to accept the invitation? Is Moss’ mind ever in any place at all?