Favre Watch begins?

You’ve got to be kidding me.

We’re sick of “watching.” Just as soon as we put Lockout Watch! to bed and began to sing a lullaby to Free Agent Watch!, Favre Watch! has apparently returned for the 23rd consecutive summer.

Where to this year? Miami, where the price was apparently too steep for Kyle freakin’ Orton, the fans are hurting Chad Henne’s feelings by voicing their displeasure and Tony Sparano isn’t ruling anything out…

And the odds are already up at Bodog

This has all been spawned by a column in today’s South Florida Sun-Sentinel. Dave Hyde gives readers five painful reasons why the Phins should make a phone call to Hattiesburg, Miss.

In defense of everyone who thinks No. 4 should stay the hell home, Hyde’s points are far from compelling.

1. With this defense, this team is an average quarterback away from a 10-win season that would save a lot of good work.

So why not trade for Orton? He’s probably worth more Ws than Favre at this point. Compare their stats from last season — it wasn’t even close.

2. Favre is smart, very experienced at 41 and a one-year rental for only dollars, not draft picks.

The team has just $6.6 million in cap space. Favre will request triple that. I’d rather lose picks.

3. For as bad as 2010 was for him, he’s a season removed from a 33-touchdown, seven-interception season with Minnesota.

Whoop de doo, Basil. Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown are literally football trash right now, yet they too are only a season removed from greatness: a combined 1,769 yards and 19 touchdowns in 2009.

4. Brian Daboll, the new offensive coordinator, was Favre’s quarterback coach in 2008 with the New York Jets.

And we all remember how well that turned out…

5. He’d immediately turn the Dolphins from a team no one’s talking about to one everyone is.

This is the only reason why the team would pay a bunch of money to a 41-year-old coming off a bad season. Not worth it for the fans or anyone else.

Listen, I’ve secretly enjoyed Favre Watch! in years past, just like I sort of sometimes maybe enjoyed the uniqueness of covering the lockout. Maybe I’m a football masochist, but this is too much for even me to handle. I’m done with Favre, and so are 99 percent of the fans I speak to.

Unfortunately, we don’t have any control over the situation and the Dolphins might be in the mood to give the Broncos the finger while making some headlines. Still, even Omar Kelly predicts that there’s a 75 percent chance Favre stays home. I’d personally put that number at about 90 percent.

But I’d personally be much more comfortable with it at 100 percent.