So the San Francisco 49ers are looking to trade safety Taylor Mays. But they’ve taken a lazy interesting approach to finding suitors. Instead of working the phones and targeting specific general managers who might desire help in the secondary, the Niners apparently sent a mass e-mail to teams around the league advertising that Mays is up for grabs.

This is not a normal practice, and is just the latest example of how fantasy (football) is blurring with reality. We’re assuming the e-mail from general manager Trent Baalke read something like this:

Subject: Safety for sale

Yoooo,

Looking to improve at QB, WR and maybe DE. Willing to part with Mays. Who needs a safety? Make me ur best offer. :)

And go eff yourself, Davis. You already got Huff for cheap and your offers are always ridiculously low.

Everyone else, lemme know!

Trent

It doesn’t end there. Exclusive to the Goal-Line Stand blog is this list of changes the 49ers’ organization wants the league to adopt:

  • The installation a trading block message board to make it easier for teams to communicate who is and isn’t for sale.
  • Teams should be able to vote for or against trades. If more than half of the league votes against a deal, it doesn’t go through.
  • The date and time of the draft must be negotiated on e-mail, and every team must agree on the final choice.
  • Teams should lose points for fumbles and interceptions.
  • Smack talk and team slogans.
  • The ability for teams to change nicknames annually to account for new trends in pop culture.

(Just in case it wasn’t blatantly clear, the above list was satirical.)