When art and sport mix the result can either be an inspiring piece of visual poetry, or an artistic daydream gone terribly wrong. Usually for professionally done shots it’s the latter, and the infamous “white hot” Kobe Bryant photoshoot by the Los Angeles Times pictured above is a prime example.
Such moments of creative license gone awry have also showed us that Alex Rodriguez really, really likes himself. But we already knew that.
Weird and embarrassing studio pictures of athletes that make for easy locker room fodder aren’t limited to the less manly sports. Football has a long and fabled history of nightmarish exposés by heavily-accented photographers, and the latest GQ pictures of Mark Sanchez have supplied another photo gallery that will induce both laughing and cringing.
Real men don’t wear fur coats on beautifully sunny days…
And real men also know that soaking in the tub calls for relaxation, not excitement. The only exception to this rule is if a rubber ducky has been lost, and panic has set in…
This isn’t the first time Sanchez has used his boyish charm to dazzle the artistic lens of GQ, but at least last time he was next to Hilary Rhonda.
It also isn’t the first time an NFL player has given us some comedic visual stimulation. In fact, this is becoming a pigskin epidemic that has to be defeated.
The list: Photographic football fun
5. Tom Brady makes a new animal friend
We’re going strictly with professionally done pictures here, because otherwise Brady would have his own post, and maybe several. This is a man who doesn’t have the ability to feel shame or humiliation, and this picture of a young Brady befriending a goat is merely the beginning to his oddball photographic exploits.
Brady remains married to one of the most beautiful women in the world despite his ecstatic enjoyment of a 12-foot water slide, his dancing skills, and the camera attached to his crotch. And that’s all just in this offseason.
4. Cam Newton is a lost little school child
Sanchez’s GQ bathing and fur-wearing made him the magazine’s second NFL victim this year. All Newton needs to complete his Waldo outfit is a toque and glasses.
3. Darrelle Revis makes love, not war
One year ago at this time we were in the middle of Darrelle Revis’ holdout. While writing our excruciating daily holdout updates we searched for new Revis pictures to use from our Getty Images archive, and each time the pictures from the day that Revis evidently ran around New York with a Getty photoghrapher scrolled across the screen.
This image soundly accomplishes the goal of being simultaneously amusing, disturbing, and far too red.
2. You are not cool enough to even look at Deion Sanders
Deion Sanders was a cool, hip dude, hence the shades and eight pounds of bling. But throw in the late 80′s neon lights, and this is too loud even for Prime Time.
1. Joe Namath would like you to buy pantyhose
We end with an exception, switching to video form for a hidden beauty buried deep underneath the mountain of Joe Namath ads. Namath was Tom Brady long before Tom Brady, but there are certain things a member of the male species just can’t do, regardless of the money thrown in his direction.
Anything involving pantyhose qualifies.