Never, ever eat this without Jeremy Shockey present.

  • If you ever find yourself choking on a piece of pork, Jeremy Shockey is a good guy to have around. Just ask Ben Hartstock.
  • The Eagles made a massive financial commitment to Michael Vick last night, and that’s good for Vick, Eagles fans, and especially Vick’s creditors. But you know who likely won’t see a major benefit from Philly’s new-found–but still minimal–cap space? DeSean Jackson.
  • The relationship between the sports media and the subjects they cover is typically professional, and doesn’t extend too far beyond the locker room or press conference area. That’s why it was really thoughtful when Jaguars head coach Jack Del Rio visited Bills beat man Allen Wilson in the hospital.
  • Arian Foster provided a further explanation for his tweet on Sunday, and in doing so he also validated the point I made yesterday. Foster doesn’t understand that fans never cared about his well-being even before fantasy sports, and they especially don’t now.
  • Should the Packers keep an aging and regressing Donald Driver, or let the young receivers take over?
  • Ndamukong Suh has no regrets about his decision to defend a teammate from big, bad Logan Mankins.
  • Minutes after learning about the existence of fantasy football, Tony Dungy decided that he should give some draft advice. Is there anything Dungy won’t advise me on? If I’m not cooking my bacon long enough for breakfast this morning, will Dungy just bust through the door?
  • Mike Ditka thinks Lance Briggs needs to stop whining.
  •  Titans defensive end Derrick Morgan traveled to see Dr. Death James Andrews due to continued discomfort in his surgically repaired left knee. His status for Tennessee’s opener against Jacksonville is in doubt.
  • Maurice Jones-Drew may not think he’s a savior, but he’ll still have to save the Jaguars offense.
  • The funny thing about the physically unable to perform list is that players on it aren’t physically supposed to be able to perform. Michael Crabtree is still on said list, but was briefly catching passes while wearing shorts yesterday, and it could cost San Francisco a draft pick.

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