Pick up the phone, Pat, and do it right now.

David Bennett is the head coach of Coastal Carolina, and we really have no idea what he’s saying in the video above. It involved 12 cats, a broken screen door, one kitty who busted into the kitchen, and lots of cat noises.

But here’s what we do know: Bennett hates cats, and he needs dogs, because cats can’t navigate around a screen door that isn’t functioning properly, and they don’t win football games. Dogs do.

The Browns are the NFL’s dogs, and they’re playing the Bengals in two days. Hire this man.

Thanks for the latest in college football pep talk inspiration, Barstool Sports Boston.