Please stop whatever you’re doing and observe a moment of silence for Tom Brady’s wavy, uncontrolled, and perhaps infested locks. We don’t know exactly when it happened, but we’re assuming Brady’s famous mop met its demise the morning after Buffalo beat New England.
Brady likely woke up in a fit of rage that couldn’t even be calmed by the supermodel wife sleeping beside him. He sat for several minutes staring into the mirror in the middle of the night, clutching his hair furiously. It had failed, and let down the Jedi knight who captains the Patriot ship.
It had to pay the ultimate price, and Brady appeared at the post-practice podium today sporting a new look.
Normally some scraggly strands would be peaking out from underneath that hat. Those who’ve witnessed an uncapped Brady report that he didn’t take too much off the top, but we’ve certainly witnessed the end of the Brady pony tail, which makes this a sad day.
Thankfully this won’t prevent Tom from putting a camera on his crotch while playing with his dog, so the life change won’t be too drastic.
Thanks for the hair update, Barstool Sports Boston.