Best summary of the state of a franchise: In the opening quarter of the Falcons/Colts game Donald Brown had six carries for Indy and didn’t fumble once. Meanwhile, rookie Delone Carter needed only two carries to notch his first fumble of the game, and his third fumble over the last four weeks.

Brown’s ability to perform a fundamental football task and hold on to the ball led to a minor celebration in Indianapolis. For some perspective, that’s like a child taking his first steps at the age of eight, and the parents immediately holding a party at Chuck E. Cheese.

Best statistical oddity: The Jets’ first quarter drive that ended in Mark Sanchez’s red-zone interception was the longest drive of the season time-wise, lasting 10 minutes. Yet the Jets came away with exactly zero points.

Most mind-bending catch: Julio Jones was falling to the ground and covered by three Colts while sprinting 50 yards downfield. It didn’t matter…

Jones added another touchdown when he used his explosiveness to take a simple slant route 80 yards, meaning his first two career touchdowns came on plays of 50 yards or more, and two of his three catches today ended in end zone celebrations.

He finished with 131 yards, and although the Browns received a sizable sum from Atlanta in exchange for the sixth overall pick last April, it must be growing increasingly difficult for Mike Holmgren to watch highlights of Jones’ acrobatic catches. Colt McCoy had another mediocre average yardage per completion today without a reliable deep threat (6.6 yards).

Worst loser faces: Since writing about the Colts’ impressively consistent futility seems to be so much fun today, here’s what being outscored 120-34 in your last three games looks like…

Most unsustainable first half pace: Now that the Texans have a fully healthy Arian Foster, they also have one of the league’s most dynamic rushing duos, with Foster providing the speed while Ben Tate hits opposing players really hard.

In the first half of Houston’s 30-12 win over Cleveland, Tate and Foster combined for 157 rushing yards. Both backs then finished with over 100 yards, and combined for 239.

But it was Tate who was especially impressive, running for 66 of those yards on just four attempts for an absurd 16.5 yards per carry in the first half. That kind of rushing pace is standard for Techmo Bowl games, but not common for mere mortals playing in actual, real-life football contests. So sadly, Tate couldn’t sustain his video game pace, and instead settled for a measly 9.6 yards per carry.

What a chump.

Worst trend: Bills offensive lineman Andy Levitre grew up wanting to be the Fonz. He practiced the gyrating and hip thrusting habitually, and carries a comb in his pocket at all times. Little did he know that he’d achieve his life-long goal on a Sunday in early November when he triumphantly jumped a gnarly shark and became the first player to Tebow in a game when Tebow wasn’t within 1,000 miles.

Most painful face: Ryan Fitzpatrick was generally terrible today. Instead of playing like a guy who just signed a six-year contract worth $59 million, he played like a guy who lost out to Trent friggin Edwards in Buffalo’s quarterback battle last summer, and sat for two games before Edwards was benched in Week 3.

Fitzpatrick had completed only three of his 14 pass attempts for just 24 yards with two interceptions midway through the third quarter of the Bills’ divisional loss to New York. One of those interceptions made kicker Rian Lindell react on the sidelines as though he’d just learned that three-eyed fish actually exist…