Tim Tebow is more than just a god, or a reincarnation of god, or the vessel through which the almighty powers above instruct us to act, look, and feel. He’s the entire Denver Broncos team.

That’s not just figurative, poetic, and clichéd rhetoric either. Tebow really is the entire Denver team.

Look…

Spotted by Sportsgrid, that’s a screen grab from NFL.com’s power rankings by Elliot Harrison following Week 10. Harrison was finally driven mad by Tebowmania, but instead of trying to beat the Tebow supporters, he said screw it and joined them.

In doing so he’s stumbled on a genius and foolproof marketing strategy. The NFL is sitting on a god damn gold mine here, and calling the football team in Denver the “Denver Tebows” would immediately shatter sports merchandise sales records.

The new name would also guarantee the longevity of the Tebow brand in Denver, even if Tebow ultimately fails as an NFL running back who occasionally but rarely throws quarterback. Long after he’s either cut, traded, or resigned to employment at a local mini-mart, the people of Denver will still be dazzled and bewildered by Tebow’s complex and inexplicable star power. So they’ll buy the shirts and jerseys of the Denver Tebows and carve Tebow pumpkins, even in July.

They’ll even show up at a corn field in Iowa wearing their newly-purchased Tebow gear for no reason whatsoever, and they’ll have no idea why. The power of Tebow is everlasting, and it cannot be destroyed by natural, mortal forces.

No Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *