Easiest 65-yard run in the history of 65-yard runs: A rich history indeed, and Kordell Stewart set the record for the longest touchdown run by a quarterback with his 80-yarder in 1996. Joe Webb–who replaced Christian Ponder after the Vikings rookie threw three picks and was generally horrible–can’t help where the line of scrimmage was on this play.

He would have broken Stewart’s record with a 137-yard run if that was possible. Yep, the Lions allowed a backup quarterback to run for a 65-yard touchdown, and he wasn’t even touched.

Here’s a video shot by a man wearing only his underwear while in his parents’ basement. Yes, it was me.

Most terrifying piece of team merchandise: One of the friendly neighborhood blogger men over at The Jets Blog is in the process of moving, and he found this menacing-looking character buried beneath several vintage Fireman Ed helmets prior to today’s game (I probably made up that last part).

This was manufactured by a little known Japanese Anime NFL outlet, a fine merchandise-maker that’s also made Rex Ryan, the real-life person.

Most disorganized start: Ryan is known primarily for being a boisterous buffoon, and for wanting a god damn snack. Motivation is his primary skill, but organization is somewhere far lower on the rung of priorities, likely just above the ability to make wise decisions with a video camera.

Ryan’s lack of organization made an appearance the first time the Jets’ offense lined up at the line of scrimmage during their win over Kansas City, when only six seconds had ticked off the game clock. The Jets called a timeout before their first offensive play, which was also the first offensive play of the game.

That’s where my feeble criticism will end, though, because first half timeouts are vastly less important than second half timeouts, and Shonn Greene had a season-high 31-yard run on the next play. Still, when critics throw their barbs that stick into Ryan’s ample mid-section, this is the kind of needless disorganization that fuels their angst.

Best multi-tasking: Jake Locker came into the game during Tennessee’s loss to New Orleans in the first quarter after Matt Hasselbeck suffered a left calf injury. He was impressive, nearly guiding the Titans to a surprise comeback win. The sample size is still minuscule, but after his performance today (282 passing yards and a touchdown), Locker now has three touchdowns in 50 pass attempts this year.

But the most impressive number in Locker’s box score today puts Chris Johnson to shame after the Titans running back tumbled down to earth once again. Locker out-rushed Johnson by 13 yards after he gained 36 yards on six carries, while Johnson sputtered for just 23 yards on nine carries, and a paltry average of 2.5 yards per carry.

The highlight of Locker’s rushing day came on a six-yard touchdown run when he reached to break the plane and was successful after he held the ball over top of the pylon. While airborne and crashing to the ground, Locker still wanted to know the ruling, and he glanced at the official.

Today’s youth can’t wait for anything.

(via Mike Tunison)

Most Tim Tebow-esque first half passing stats: Tyler Palko needs to start praying more. A lot more.

Actually, the entire Chiefs offense should have done a mass Tebow, because at halftime the net offensive yardage was 253-4 in favor of the Jets. That means Palko’s offense only had four more positive yards than me in the first half, and that may even be debatable, because my walk to the GLS worldwide headquarters is at least two football fields long.

Reddest faces: Tom Brady looked oddly casual in the pocket as he threw just the third red-zone interception of his career late in the fourth quarter of New England’s narrow win over Washington. Every red-zone pick is costly, but this one could have been especially damaging after Josh Wilson jumped the route on a pass intended for receiver Tiquan Underwood with the Pats on Washington’s four yard-line.

Brady had gone 178 pass attempts without throwing an interception, a stretch that spanned over four games. Anger is a pretty natural emotion when an offense turns the ball over and fails to score after pushing to the opponent’s four yard-line. Rage is even more understandable when that turnover could have contributed to an upset loss, with the score 34-27 for New England at the time, a score that would hold after a Rex Grossman pick.

But seeing Brady angry is still a little jarring for some reason, probably because subconsciously we assume that someone who’s married to a supermodel is eternally happy and therefore incapable of expressing anger. And maybe because we’ve also grown used to seeing that giddy and gleeful grin on Brady’s face as he rockets down 13-foot waterslides, and when he does a Brazilian twist.

Ask Patriots offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach Bill O’Brien if Brady is capable of showing anger. He’ll tell you that when Brady is angry he instinctively thinks of all the teams that passed on him in the draft. The anger grows, and so do the tears.

Do not cross angry Tom.

For our American friends who can’t view the video above, here’s the visual evidence of Brady’s wrath.

Worst game seat: Jabar Gaffney was excited after he hauled in a nine-yard pass from Rex Grossman that cut New England’s lead to 14-10 in the first quarter. So he did the good ol’ crowd plunge.

But I often wonder if for just a fleeting instant a player considers the consequences of this celebration before his leap, even through their excitement and adrenaline. There could be a fan who wants to grab parts of the player’s body that shouldn’t be grabbed, or there could be an inebriated man who’s a spilly talker.

You could also wind up with your knees adjacent to your nose while you’re sitting in a rather undesirable position.

(via Jose 3030)