Ron Matula is a savvy businessman. He knows that the ideal advertising offers the consumer everything, but gives them nothing.

This is why he’s offering anyone and everyone a free car. Yep, anyone who wants to pay nothing for a new vehicle can roll on over to Sawicki Motors in Rochelle, Illinois if the Bears beat the Packers on Christmas night, but only if they do it by shutting out the league’s highest-scoring offense. That’s why Matula, the general manager of Sawicki Motors, is a mastermind.

Beyond possessing the ability to look really cheesy while leaning out a car window–the same natural skill that every car salesman was born with–Matula is well aware of a simple formula: zany + wacky= buzz. The Packers are currently favored by 13 points, and they haven’t been shut out since 2006. Jay Cutler and Matt Forte are still out for Chicago, and Lovie Smith has now handed the team’s offensive keys to Josh McCown, who will replace Caleb Hanie and make his first start since 2007.

So the odds of Chicago shutting out Green Bay are about on par with the odds of Santa inviting you into his sleigh, and allowing you to ride on Rudolph’s back throughout his Christmas Eve journey around the world that’s conveniently guided by Siri. But now you know Mutula’s name, and the generic-sounding name of his car dealership, and it won’t cost him a cent.

He’s not a car dealer. He’s a car kingpin.

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