It all makes sense now.
There are games when Eli Manning resembles Mr. Bean, stumbling, fumbling, and generally looking foolish before finally solving his problems and prevailing in the fourth quarter. There are also many games when he doesn’t solve his problems at all, and he just looks foolish.
But there are many more when he’s Rambo, and he’s a beastly warrior who’s not afraid to pillage towns and burn houses to get whatever he desires. When he bleeds, he bleeds profusely, which is also Rambo-like.
So thanks, New York Post, because without those creative Photoshop skills we wouldn’t be able to see the true, inner, split personality Eli that lies buried beneath his meek voice and blank face. Subconsciously, he’s a killing machine, just like somewhere in the depths of his brain Rex Ryan is a Ghostbuster.
Tim Tebow still wins, though, because he’s a man horse triumphantly carrying vintage John Elway to victory through the magical playoff rainbow thanks to the suggestive imagery provided by corporate America.
Thanks for the latest in New York sports section absurdity, Jimmy Traina.