Recently we discovered that the Internet is really good at making Tim Tebow songs. That fact alone certainly wasn’t surprising, but the depth of interest in the Tebow song genre was remarkable. Elderly men were singing alongside puppets, proving that Tebow does indeed spread harmony and peace among the world’s population.
Tebowmania is more than just a wave of fandom now–it’s a plague that’s sweeping a nation, and somehow ensuring that my grandmother is aware of his existence. So when we explored the Internet to see if Patriots fans stand a chance tonight in the highly-coveted category of fan songs, the conclusion was clear before the process even began. No, no way in hell.
Still, there was one Patriots fan who was pretty amazing. Every August when boring, painful preseason games are ending and football with meaning is about to begin, the excitement level of the average NFL fan gets to an unhealthy state quickly, and pants everywhere are soiled. That’s the result of intensely following a sport that has a short and action-packed season, followed by an excruciatingly long offseason.
That excitement prompted the Patriots fan below to do more than just soil his pants, and if he was about to do that he was beside a porcelain urine receptacle anyway. He was so excited that he wrote a song and performed it in his bathroom.
We’re going to assume that he’ll also be watching tonight’s game from the comfort of his shower, where he’s proudly installed a Commando 450 shower head.
(One instance of NSFW language, but you’re not at work today. Just make sure the kids put on their ear muffs.)
And while we’re celebrating tremendous works of fan music composure for this weekend’s games, the Texans should listen to this piece of streetside freestyle acapella blues(?) on an eternal loop prior to their kickoff tomorrow against Baltimore.